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I have postnatal depression again and feel so alone

(4 Posts)
waitingtobloom Fri 26-Sep-08 20:00:13

I suffered after DS was born but could explain it by the birth and my situation at the time. This time around everything is great - I had the perfect birth, DH is being supportive, a lovely healthy baby yet it has come back. I tried everything I could to avoid it - a lovely home birth and a doula who I spent a long time talking to but it didnt work.

Nothing is wrong but I cant stop crying. Its so painful and feels like a bereavement or relationship break up. Feelings of guilt go round and round my head and I hate leaving the house as I panic. I cant sleep or eat properly and I just desperately want it to go away. Its like that childlike feeling of desperately wanting my mum and someone to kiss it all better but I dont have that sort of relationship with my mum. Am busy putting a brave face on it and havent really told anyone. I just feel so alone.

Midwives and health visitor are being fab (I must be the luckiest woman alive to have fab ones of both!). Dh is being good but doesnt really understand. DS has adapted brilliantly and loves his baby sister. I feel so guilty to be feeling this way when life is great and hate taking up their time when I just sob at them.

I love my DD, I love my DS. Am so happy to be a mum again and love cuddling and feeding her - shes a lovely baby - but am desperately sad and lonely.

I have started the anti d's I took last time about a week ago but nothing has happened yet. Am clinging on to them working. I got better last time and keep trying to tell myself that.

I dont know why I am posting really...just need to tell someone...hope that someone has some positive words...some tips for getting a handle on this...or can just tell me that they understand and it will get better.

xxxx

mumtoo3 Fri 26-Sep-08 20:21:31

hi

i too had pnd after my first baby, and then again after my third, i am on anti d's but it took me a few weeks to feel any better, i found keeping busy helped and talking to dh lots. i still am on the tablets now! you will get better it is still early days

x

Dior Fri 26-Sep-08 20:23:35

Message withdrawn

HairyToedHobbit Fri 26-Sep-08 21:08:17

Hi

I went through similar when I had DS and now two years later I've had to go back on anti-depressants. I was told that I should start to feel better in a couple of weeks but they will be working fully in about six.

I also had a fantastic hv. I was given the chance to go to a post-natal depression support group but I chose one to one counselling instead. Are either of those options available to you?

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