When does PND turn into Depression.........and what is the difference?

[emmatmg]

Firstly, I know there is a million treads on this but TBH I haven't got the energy to look through them all and would really like aquick answer.

After Ds3 was born I had a bit of a run in with PND but thanks to my HV (and here) I recognised the signs and I got over ir quickly.

Now I been feeling quite shit lately and this morning just had a complete, well the only way I can describe it is a meltdown brought on be the simple fact the DH had a lie in (again). I have been in tears. scraeming that he has no idea how miserable I am and he hasn't. I'm not sleeping well ATM and when he commented on the fact that I choose to stay up late I lost. I don'tfucking well choose to, I can't sleep so whats the point of lying in bed wide awake.

I just have this horrible "I don't care" feeling all the time and living with a neurotic and anal man like DH(a whole other thread that) drives me mad.

Do you think by reading this little snapshot of my life that it's PND again, depression of just a selfish wanker of a DH?


Sorry about typos and crap puncuation.

[WideWebWitch]

The last option I'd say Emmatmg. Lack of sleep is an absolute killer. It really makes you feel mad (or it does me) and irrational and awful. And I don't see why your dh should get a lie in and you shouldn't it would make me cross too. It's just completely unfair. What's your instinct, that it's tiredness or depression? I can't think clearly when I'm knackered, I really can't and everything seems 10 times worse than it is.

[blueteddy]

I agree.
I suffered from PND after the birth of ds2 & feel I am pretty much over it now, but sometimes when I lose the plot with ds or get upset about things I panic & think it is returning.
I think you are more vunerable to dipping into depression once you have suffered with PND, but it could just a combination of tiredness & the way your DH is behaving.
Do you generally feel more down than up most days?

[emmatmg]

well, I am always tired during the day but find it odd that by the time it's 9pm, 10pm, 11pm I'm so wake that I just can't sleep......actually I probably could sleep but I almost don't want to. It's that and this feeling of "i don't care/can't be bothered " with everything that concerns me.

I could have got a early night last night, dozed off on the sofa for 30 minutes (H was at work) but when I woke up I had to pick up the few bits and pieces on the floor becuase he would have been all shitty this morning if he'd found them when he came in. Of course I was wide awake when I done it and was still awake at 12:30am when he came in. Ds1 woke me up an 5:40 and I couldn't sleep properly after that. H was woken up at 9am by ds1 becuase he'd promised to take them swimming. The first thing he said to me whe he came down stairs was "Cor, I was fast asleep then" I felt like decking him!!!

[emmatmg]

blueteddy, I can't remember an "up" day, I feel like I've felt like this for ages, which I know I haven't.

[WideWebWitch]

I know that feeling of being knackered and then it's 8pm and I suddenly get a second wind and am awake enough to chat to dp, watch a film, come here etc so I don't think that's abormal. And with that amount of sleep last night, no wonder you're knackered and with your dh's response (wtf should he go mad about a few things on the floor too ffs, you've got 3 children! I don't think tidyness should be demanded actually) no wonder you wanted to slap him. I would too.

[megandsoph]

Hiya emmatmg,

So sorry to see ur feelin so low. Been through the same thing mate 3 times got diognosed with depression at 18 dunno how got over that proberbly when I got preggers with dd1 all was fine after she was born, but towards end of pregnancy with dd2 it all went tits up and got diognosed bout 3 mth after she was born with PND but I thought the fact that my ex husband flying off to iraq for 6 mth and not givin a toss bout my health or the fact I had 2 babies both under 18 mth with no pals or family within a 300 mile radius didn't help. so moved to scunny to be near family but we ended up gettin divorced and have since been diognosed with clinical depression rather than PND so had exactly the same three feelings as you hun. I think maybe you should visit your GP and also talk to ur DH and ask him to maybe go to a counceler together as you definetly need his support and there seems to be a lack of support on his half.

Hope you feel better soon hun

Clare
x

[blueteddy]

Maybe you should contact your HV & see what she thinks, as you are obviously having a tough time of it atm.
I sympathise with you feeling pissed off about DH sleeping in.
It is the same in our house & it makes me really angry that he makes out that he does not hear the kids when they wake up

[emmatmg]

I ofen joke that HE is turning in to my mother but I seriously think he is. He cleans things that aren't dirty, re-tidies things, makes beds that I've already made....these are all thing sthat my Mum does.

In addition to that he also moans about the paper work on the kitchen side (it's all his), makes comments like "Oh, don't forget the washing" "Do you want me to get the hoover out for you??" Is neurotic about the kids having claen hands (ds2 like DRY toast for breakfast and says he has sticky hand after eating it....errr it's dry.....not covered in jam).



Another tiny snapshot of my life but God, I could go on and on and on.

[dramaqueen72]

hi emma, not being able to sleep tho desperately tired is a classic depression 'sign'. and that closed in feeling of no good days behind or in front of you. i'd say you were also very very tired, and that alone makes everything seem like a mountain rather than a molehill. I've certainly been there, screaming at dh and breaking down totally cause i hadnt slept and yet had to 'get on' with another normal days routine. go and speak to your HV again if she was helpful before. dont brush it under the carpet as a one of, just incase.
you need some decent sleep, and a lot more understanding from your other half.
I hope you get an 'up' day soon, and find some support.

[megandsoph]

emmatmg,
Hun he isn't a squaddie by any chance is he???

Clare
x

[emmatmg]

No, he a train driver.


does he sound like a squaddie then?

[blueteddy]

My H also drives me mad because he wants everything tidy all the time & will notice the smallest bit of food on the floor after my ds's have eaten.
THe children even have to have wicker chests from Next 4 their toy boxes, so they will blend in with the furniture!
People think I am lucky to live with a tidy man, but give me an untidy man any day!

[megandsoph]

yeah he really does,
sounds so much like my ex.... and my dad (both Squaddies). hmmmm....

[emmatmg]

well, his brother used to be in the marines....does that count?

[blueteddy]

It is a nightmare living with ultra tidy men isn't it?!

[SeaShells]

Sorry to hear you are feeling this way em, your DH sounds very obsessive, it must be really hard living with him, a sympton of my illness was being very obsessive, I used to make the bed while DP was still in it, I even once got up onto the kitchen units and cleaned the top of the cupboards ffs! I went onto AD and now I'm just a slob like everyone else perhaps your DH might be in need of some sort of help?

[biglips]

emma - i cant really help you on the PND but my baba is 4.5 months old and every Sat DP have a lie in whilst i look after baba and Sun i have a lie in whilst DP look after baba as tiredness screw me up if i have lack of sleep as i get very moody out of the blue.

[emmatmg]

Yes blueteddy it is.

I think he see it as a pigsty when no-one else can see a mess. Drives me around the twist.

[blueteddy]

Tiredness & not being able to sleep can both be symptoms of depression.

[megandsoph]

haha aye marines, navy, raf all the bloody same.... :D of my experience with them anyways.

[blueteddy]

Sound EXACTUALLY lkie my dh!
Everyone comments on how tidy our house is & he will come in & say it is a sh*t hole!

[emmatmg]

another example he washed down the kitchen cupbaords every week, yes, i wipe them if I see a splog of something but the whole lot?
I've just counted and there are 13 doors and 5 drawers, he does the ALL.....why???


btw is I disappear suddenly it's because he's back from swimming.

[blueteddy]

Has he always been like this?

[emmatmg]

Yep, although it's got worse as the house has been decorated.

He's does the DIY and it's painstakingly slow and he wants it to be like a show home.

HA, with 3 boys it's a long way from that!

[blueteddy]

We are going to move house soon & I dread it because I know dh will be worse!
He found a small pen mark on the radiator the other dat & said if it happens in the new house he will throw out all pens along with me & the kids
I hope he was not serious!