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I want to run away, I mean like REALLY run away!

(10 Posts)
mumhadenough Fri 12-Sep-08 12:03:03

Like seriously run away, I have had enough! sad

I got in my car this morning and I considered driving and driving and not stopping. This isn't good!

Basically, I have a 6 year old son. He's extremely hard work and is currently awaiting his CAMHS referral for assessment for adhd, which I am in absolutely no doubt he has.

I'm sick of the constant arguing with him, every time he opens his mouth its cheek. I'm sick of him constantly pushing me, pushing the boundaries, his lying, not doing anything he's told, constantly touching, breaking, destroying things. My husband is at his wits end too, we both are, but I'm just not coping very well at the moment.

Normally I'm fine, I COPE, just, but I do it. I don't want to have to cope anymore, does that make sense?

My husband is obviously noticing that I've had enough. Normally I'm the strict one, enforces all the consequences and follows them through. Now, like last night for exactly, I just shouted at ds "stop now, I've had enough, enough, do you understand?" and I sat with my head in my hands. DH got up and dealt with him. Another two incidents later I also dealt with by just putting my head in my hands. I can't/don't want to have to do it anymore. By "it" I mean everything, dealing with him, enforcing punishments, just trying to get through life with him.

Its not just me btw, I think the school are at their wits end with him too, we are working together but he really needs his CAMHS referral which should be this month. He's under the care of the the local child development centre and the psych there, but we don't do anything with them that helps.

I love my wee guy to bits, I really do. But he's driving me NUTS and I hate him at times too, I really do wish sometimes I hadn't had him. I just think "I planned you" and this is what I got! sad Do I sound like a really really bad mother?

Maybe I need to go see the doc, get a course of anti d's or something? Before I do get in that car and keep driving!

Sorry, don't know what I expect to get from this thread. I just wanted to get it off my chest.

mumhadenough Fri 12-Sep-08 14:03:27

Is it just me that gets like this then, has no other mum's felt this way? sad

Ledodgy Fri 12-Sep-08 14:08:03

You sound like you are having a very stressful time atm. Maybe you should post on the special needs boards to speak to other mothers who have first hand experience with ADHD. It is totally understandable why you are feeling like you are, you are not a bad mother!

Hassled Fri 12-Sep-08 14:10:00

I think you need to go and see your GP and say what you've said here. I have no experience of dealing with a child with ADHD and can only imagine how tough it is - there might be some local support groups for parents and your GP will know. There might also be some parenting classes which will help with learning strategies for dealing with challenging behaviour etc. And yes, you might need ADs for a while but talk about it with your GP.

What I'm trying to say is that there is help out there, it's not surprising it all feels too much at the moment but you don't have to be feeling this bad if you get some help.

mumhadenough Fri 12-Sep-08 14:18:12

Thanks for your replies. I think I will make a gp appt, there on Monday with ds to demand a hearing test anyway.

Will also post on special needs. Just wasn't sure were to post this.

Thanks again xxxxxxxxxxxxx

mumhadenough Fri 12-Sep-08 14:24:06

Should also have said we are supposed to be getting help through this child development centre. The psych has given us strategies to put in place, which to be honest we have tried all of. Some work for a day, some not at all because he is so bloody clever that he sees right through them.

Thinking back, as much as its good to talk things through with the psych (who has as good as told us he is adhd but CAMHS have to diagnose), nothing much has really been done. It has taken us almost two years to get to the stage we are at now.

I just want my life to be normal sad. I know thats horrible (whats normal anyway) and I should be happy that he's otherwise healthy but I'm demented!

RonAndHarry Fri 12-Sep-08 14:26:33

Def see your GP - when my depression is at its worse I do get in the car and drive. I never get very far because I am too scared, but the desire is there


Buckets Fri 12-Sep-08 14:31:42

Sounds like absolute torture, of course you want to run away! Can totally understand what you're feeling and my DS(3,AS) is pretty easygoing so I don't have to deal with a fraction of what you do but I have definitely wanted to escape. I tend to save it all up for when DH gets home so he gets all my anger, frustration, exhaustion as well as trying to get DS to bed.
You need some respite, are there any relatives/friends who could come and help your DH cope while you get away for a weekend say? And vice versa?

BTW I didn't plan my DS so I feel guilty about not having wanted him (yet) to begin with. Mums just can't win LOL.

Well done for getting this out of your head and hope we can buoy you up a little in the short term. There are loads of us SN mums on MN, we're all here for

Wisp Fri 12-Sep-08 14:32:30

Hi, Poor you, you have my sympathy entirely.
My son who is almost 7 has severe ADHD and Aspergers.
Sounds very much like your DS, and at times it does get to breaking point when it just seems like continual aggression and noise and chaos.
Go to your GP's, explain you are at your wits end, and explain that he is a danger to others and himself ( if he is, I know my son certainly is!), and ask for an urgent referral to a paediatrician or someone qualified to start the process of getting a diagnosis. Also consider speaking to the school and see if getting him a statement of special educational needs (SEN) would help him at school if he is struggling.

Stick with it, it's so hard for us, but it is also extremely hard for your DS to live with, and what's kept me sane is telling myself that my DS can't help it either, and he probably feels worse than I do.

A big hug keep going and push for a referral. Its taken me two years to get to where we are now, but he now has a statement for one to one support at school, and offered medication to help with the ADHD side, which we are still thinking about.
If you want to talk/rant!, you are very welcome to CAT me

mumhadenough Fri 12-Sep-08 15:04:32

Thanks all, I have replied on the thread on SN board.


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