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need a bit of advice for dh

(6 Posts)
nameychangy Wed 23-Feb-05 00:19:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

almost40 Wed 23-Feb-05 03:16:38

He sounds a lot like my DH. Funny, I wouldn't call it agoraphobia. The agoraphobics I knew could not leave the house at all for anything - work or otherwise. It sounds like he is simply a bit antisocial and probably has some issues like depression. I'm no expert, but I would suggest that he see a psychologist. It will be worth the money definitely. It is a big step that he is willing to even see someone, imo. Good luck.

StuartC Wed 23-Feb-05 08:03:38

£35 per hour is cheap compared to lost social lives, his and yours. Invest now - not in a few years' time.

Issues like this can accumulate and can end in divorce - and that's really expensive.

dramaqueen72 Wed 23-Feb-05 08:22:51

this was my dh once!!! he had/has big selfconfidence issues about new people, or even people we knew. i dont think i can poss go into all his reasons here, but, wanted to tell you he was very very like this, poss worse, avoiding situations.and i had NO IDEA, i thought he was being withdrawn, moody, abit of a bastard actaully. finally he starts to tell me, and i realise its beyond rational, and has become a problem. he also breaks down in front of his father and speaks of some of it. he went to the Dr (under duress)and saw an amazing one. who refused to 'quick fix' anxiety issues with anitdepressants and referred him to therapy. (we saw the waiting list and went private!) ours cost quite abit more than your friends. (£90) however, having started CBT (cognative behaviour therapy) my dh is almost a different man. he has learnt to address issues, face situations and 'rethink' alot. its a fairly short course of cbt -it tends to work very quickly if its going to- but hes alot more outgoing, nicer to live with, easier to talk to etc etc. i could actually take him to a bar now, with friends he didnt know well and he wouldnt behave like an arse now.
I suggest you dh goes to another dr, and tells you first -if he can- what hes planning to say, sounds like it didnt come across clearly to the last dr because that was totally the wrong support group last time. maybe he does need ad, but he does need to be assessed first and poss put on the list for something like my dh had.
we are right thro it but we have come a long along way in a short time.

hope our experience helps.

nameychangy Wed 23-Feb-05 11:26:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cori Wed 23-Feb-05 11:41:58

Sounds like social anxiety to me.
I think the only way to address this through some form of therapy.
Why dont you go to the GP and explain what you consider the problem is. Clear the path for him . Then he can go back and get further advice.

I found counselling for my DH through my employer. A lot of companies offer counselling services. This could be your first step.

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