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Feeling down about my struggles when some people just seem to be lucky and sail through life.

(3 Posts)
sweetkitty Tue 09-Sep-08 21:33:04

Been thinking about things tonight partly due to my best friend being pregnant and moving house.

She and her DH are buying a beautiful house in our hometown and she's pregnant with their first baby, she wants to be closer to her Mum to help out with the baby.

Now I love her to pieces and am delighted that she's got a lovely house etc but it kind of gets me thinking about my situation. She left school at 16 got a variety of jobs, went back to uni and ended up with a great job. I was the brainy one did a degree in an obscure subject then had to move away to get a job. Bought a flat in London but then got screwed over completely trying to sell it. This was when DD1 was a baby and I was pregnant with DD2 nearly went bankrupt over it. DD1's pregnancy wasn't that great and DD2's was over shadowed with all the house stuff. We ended up living in a 1 room flat paying 2 mortgages on 2 properties staying in neither. The whole move thing left us over 50K short and we are still in a lot of debt because of it. We are lucky to be in a nice but small 3 bed house but with 3 DC we are v cramped but no chance of moving but I understand we are lucky compared to some.

Other thing that really gets me is that my friend will get tonnes of family support, her Mum will babysit and her Dad will help her out too. We have no one and are on our own with the 3 DDs pretty constantly.

I think I am just feeling a bit down and sorry for myself tonight some people just seem to sail through life but for others it's a struggle.

sweetkitty Tue 09-Sep-08 21:42:06

Just been re reading this throgh sounds very poor old me why can't I have what my friend has blush

It's not like that I know I am v lucky I have 3 beautiful daughters I am just a bit post natal and struggling right now.

foxtrotmahoney Wed 10-Sep-08 10:59:04

Not sure that's too helpful Sweetkitty- surely telling someone who's depressed to just pull themselves together isn't very enlightened. Would you do that to a friend? You CAN have a great life in some ways AND find things really difficult at the same time y'know! Having 3 kids is bloody tough (I'm pregnant with my second and I'm pretty scared about having 2!) Have you been to the doctors to speak about the PND?
Your friend MAY get lots of support from her parents, but maybe that will prove to be a bit much for her in the end. Personally I'd go nuts if my mum was constantly in my house. Also isn't it a bit much to move back home just so someonelse can pick up the slack for you? It sounds like you're brave, independent and not averse to risk- all things that are pretty good character traits.

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