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Feeling low and nervy, wish someone would offer me a cup of tea and sympathy

(19 Posts)
DumbledoresGirl Tue 09-Sep-08 18:07:45

I feel a charlatan posting here as I am not in the desperate state that some are here. But I didn't want to post in chat as I cannot take the flippant p* takers who might respond to me there. I am feeling really low and nervous, little things are getting on top of me. I could really do with some tea and sympathy.

dizzydixies Tue 09-Sep-08 18:08:51

oh no sad has anything happened to make you feel like this?

what are you nervous about?

<<hands over some sugary tea and a cosey jumper>>

RubyRioja Tue 09-Sep-08 18:09:18

Here is a big dollop of sympathy.
Anything in particular or crap in general bothering you?

differentID Tue 09-Sep-08 18:09:40

<hands over a slice of banana cake>
what's eating you?

MrsMattie Tue 09-Sep-08 18:11:17

I have days like this (have been prone to depression in the past). Can you have a long bath, put on your PJs and watch something silly and soppy on TV tonight?

DumbledoresGirl Tue 09-Sep-08 18:15:09

Thanks all. Same old same old. (For those who don't know, I am emetophobic. I cope most of the time, but I find it impossible when to do so when dh is away which he is often. I face another couple of nights alone this week, there was a couple of nights on my own last week, there will probably be more next week, and so it goes on).

Also, we have builders in at the moment - major work - and the stress of that is getting to me.

I just feel I am losing my normal coping abilities. I have cried at so many things today, or had a bit of a wobble and rung up dh (don't normally do that).

I have been here before and got through it before so I guess I will again, but I just feel so fed up with it all and long for some of the burden to be lifted.

MrsMattie Tue 09-Sep-08 18:21:55

I have no experience of serious phobias, so can only imagine how difficult it must be sad. I do know that having major building work on our house has nearly driven me insane (literally!) over the past few months - and that is without having to cope with a phobia as well. I have been very up and down as a result, and at times have felt unable to cope and very reliant on my DH to bolster me up, too. Hard sad.
Are you able to get away anywhere for a few days? I know tat sounds trite and a bit patronising, but sometimes a change of scenery (and escape from the builders and mess!) can put things in perspective a bit.

Re: the emetophobia. Are you getting any help with this?

dizzydixies Tue 09-Sep-08 18:22:28

blush I don't know what emetophobic means sorry but having had major building work done and a dh that is often away for work I can empathise why you would be a bit stressed

is there anything that helps when you start feeling this way?

DumbledoresGirl Tue 09-Sep-08 18:30:26

I can't really get away as I am the one who holds the household and family together. I know that is part of my problem. I am often tied to the house. I want to work, but I lack the confidence to get a job.

I am aware that the building work is an exceptional circumstance and that it will pass and we will be left with a lovely house (well.....maybe wink when we can afford to decorate it) but it is so stressful day in day out and if I think too hard about all the decisions to be made and the timings, well, I want to run screaming from the property, never to return!

Emetophobia is a fear of vomiting btw. Mine is mostly a fear of it happening to my children (and ultimately me) though I usually cope ok when it does happen which makes the fear of the event even sillier. I have tried treatment in the past and not received any.

dizzydixies Tue 09-Sep-08 18:34:34

does writing things down help? making lists would take the stress out of having to remember everything and you would be able to see everything in order etc

nothing silly about a phobia, am sorry you have this to cope with as well

MrsMattie Tue 09-Sep-08 18:36:01

Everything you say about the building work - could be me talking! I find it unbelievably stressful and very hard to put into perspective ie. I can say the words 'it will all be worth it when it's finished' but it doesn't stop the day to day stress of it absolutely battering me. Also find decision making over every little thing like pulling teeth. Oh, and I'm very bad at liasing assertively with builders etc. It's all just a bloody pain in the arse and I wish it was over sad

I can't believe that you haven't been able to get some decent help with your phobia. It sounds like it is really affecting your life and you need that help. You shouldn't have to suffer and live in fear like this. Is your GP sympathetic?

Re: holding the whole household together / wanting to work but lacking confidence etc. Have you talked to your DH about all this? Sounds like you are under pressure.

DumbledoresGirl Tue 09-Sep-08 18:39:47

I have to admit I mostly rely on dh to deal with everything builder related ie the sort of thing requiring lists. I feel guilty about that as he has a fulltime job to do, and I did say I would take on all the building stuff but it is far more complex than I ever imagined and dh project manages for a living so he is used to it.

I don't know why things have got on top of me lately. Maybe it is just dh being away so much and the children going back to school (and the bugs that all emetophobes associate with the return to school). I wouldn't be surprised if the horrid weather isn't partly to blame too (it certainly is where the builders are concerned). I hate this feeling that my ability to cope is sliding away from me.

Overmydeadbody Tue 09-Sep-08 18:43:08

<puts kettle on>

<offers lots of sympathy>

I know what it's like DG. Write it all down here, it usually helps!


dizzydixies Tue 09-Sep-08 18:43:35

the fact that you've recognised it this time though is a great step

have you explained to dh that you're feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all?

I know for a fact in terms of helping out my dh would be happier dealing with builders than our kids grinwink

Overmydeadbody Tue 09-Sep-08 18:44:30

No wonder you feel things have got on top of you recently, that is an awful lot of stuff to be dealing with all at once. I also think the first few weeks of kids being back at school drains us all (or at least, that's my explanation for why I'm feeling so run down and tired!)

DumbledoresGirl Tue 09-Sep-08 18:45:44

MrsMattie, yes, the experience of having builders in must be pretty universal I think. How long have your been around and when are they due to go? Ours have been here since July (though the stress goes back way way before!) and were supposed to be done in 14 weeks but that was a laughable estimate. I reckon 6 months will be more accurate.

I once went to a GP who was not understanding of the phobia at all - that was a horrid experience. Since then, we have moved and I have told all to a lovely sympathetic GP but he only got me onto a stress management course which was totally inappropriate for my particular needs.

Yes dh knows about my work issues. He is supportive of whatever I want to do but I have struggled for years uncertain what I do want. Recently there has been a bit more pressure on me (self imposed but also from dh) to earn money which has forced me to go out and do occasional work, but I still haven't made the break into regular employment.

MrsMattie Tue 09-Sep-08 18:58:01

<hollow laugh at first question>

POur builders came in October 2007 and have only just left. We still have a decorator here doing last bits and pieces, so our house still resembles a dusty dump full of boxes of crap...

Stress management sounds totally inappropriate. Surely you need to be referred to a specialist with experience of dealing with emetophobes (sp?)? If GP is supportive I;d try aagin, as it sounds like the phobia is a bog source of stress in your life.

MrsMattie Tue 09-Sep-08 18:58:19

Sorry, Our, not pour!

DumbledoresGirl Tue 09-Sep-08 19:01:14

LOL I misread that as "poor", as in you had sympathy for them! Seemed unlikely after nearly a year of them...

Well, dh just came home and I have exploded with pent up rage/frustration/fear at him. His response of course was to walk away, the one thing I can't do ever.

So now let me add "trapped" to my list of negative feelings. sad

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