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I dont know how to calm myself

(2 Posts)
runikka Tue 26-Aug-08 21:36:29

Good evening

I hope you dont mind me writing but I am feeling so completely down I just do not know what to do with myself

I am mum to two beautiful children, one of whom is autistic. I am married and have a full time job. My husband is very supportive and overall our marriage is very good. However, I am having such a hard time coping with things that are troubling me:

a) my son - he is nearly 4 and non-verbal. We were lucky that he was happy and placid but now he is showing signs of increased frustration, sleep issues and severe food issues. I feel so helpless around him and my job means so little time to work on therapies that could help him, help us all!

b) my work - we have an Inland Revenue inspection and I am absolutely dreading it. I am responsible for the records, although not trained and I know there were a number of little errors and late payments last year, not necessarily my fault but avoidable. I just feel completely alone and so scared that a major investigation will be prompted from it. It is consuming my every moment.

c) childcare - we have issues surrounding childcare. Parents in Law help out and are great but we really cannot ask for more due to son's problems etc However, we still do not get enough time to do day to day jobs, housework etc. We cant do it around our son because he finds some aspects distressing (hoovering for example).

c) my relationship - for the most part this is okay however, I am continually insecure and feel my husband will find someone better than me. I am overweight and have been trying to lose weight. However, because of my son and general stresses I have found food to be the one source of "time out" and therefore found dieting adding to the stresses. The flip side is I feel terrible about my appearance and believe that is how everyone else sees me. Because of working full time I dont have any spare time to myself to make the effort to look nice. A lot of my clothes are worn out and we cannot afford to replace them really. I have considered counselling or some kind of programme to build self-confidence and have spoken to my husband about it as I think it would need his cooperation, to maybe present for some of the the sessions but he doesn't think there is a problem, says something complimentary and then hopes the issue will go away. The thing is I dont want to be questioning his friendship with women, or constantly seeking his reassurance.

Sorry to ramble on but these issues just go around and around in my head. I have thought about seeing the doctor for anti-depressants as I thought maybe they'd calm me down and focus a little better. However, I am scared about the side effects

chapstickchick Tue 26-Aug-08 21:45:36

i think you just feel out of control and need to break it down into bitesize chunks

* you must see a dr explain how low you feel and hopefully you can get a sicknote -this givs you few days to strt a plan of action.

*you must seek help about your son -if your son is as hard work as he sounds he needs help from outside agencies you definitely need support its v draining having a dc with these problems.

* your housework is building up tackle one job at a time if hoovering distresses your dc 1 parent needs to taked dc out with the other parent hoovers.

*your self esteem needs building up everyone at some point needs new clothes and wether you buy charity shop,george at asda or next new clothes are needed.
spare time to look nice isnt really an excuse looking nice is a need 10 mins here and there make all the difference.

please please listen and start looing after yourself.

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