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feeling low today, need someone to talk to please......

(7 Posts)
npg1 Wed 20-Aug-08 19:04:30

Hi. I have 2 kids, 5yrs and nearly 2 yrs. On my own in the week, DH works in germany. The past few weekends he has been busy at weekends too so not seen much of him. End of september he will be taking a year off work to do a Masters but will live away all week.

I had PND this time last year. Have got through it and been ok, have good and bad days really. The past few days have been bad days. I feel I cant talk to DH, he is a workoholic and doesn't understand. He text today to say he has found some work for 2 weeks in a big company which he is really pleased about but it's in Italy and he might have to stay over for the weekend. Not sure how I should feel about this.

Just generally feel I have no one to talk to and feel im going down the road I went down when I had PND last year and dont want to be like that again. Feel so lonely too.

meandmyjoe Wed 20-Aug-08 19:54:14

Oh how lonely you must feel! I don't have any advice or anything to help you but I didn't want to leave your post unanswered.

Firstly you've done the right thing by posting, it's best to talk when we feel our selves getting low, before we get too low if you see what I mean?!

Another thing, maybe your dh would understand I mean, surely he gets lonely too and misses you and the kids. Are you sure you couldn't talk to him about it?

npg1 Wed 20-Aug-08 21:03:46

Thanks for posting, thought everyone was ignoring me or my story is really boring!

Just spoke to him, had a bit of a row so dont feel brilliant, had a cry! He always tries to make out our life is so much better than other people's and refers to people in third world countries and says we are not that bad, but to be honest that doesn't help me feel any better. He is going to work in Italy in a few weeks time and will stay over the weekend because he wants to save flight money and relax abit in one place, to me this seems unreasonable but he was moaning at me saying im unreasonable becuase im expecting too much from him.

I talked to him but we end up argueing all the time because he doesn't understand how I feel and i guess in a way I dont understand him sometimes.

It's my DD birthday party tomorrow too and just hope I can cheer up!

beeny Wed 20-Aug-08 21:06:10

I don't know what to say.I feel very sorry for you big hugs from me.

blackrock Wed 20-Aug-08 21:09:15

Try to talk to him, looking after two children for long periods of time alone is difficult, especially if you are recovering from PND. MY dS is two, and i didn't know anyone here when he was born. I know how hard it can be to meet people and then trust people to talk to them about something so personal.

I have a difficult family situation and my DH found it hard to help me, so I used a helpline and the anonymous guy on the phone was amazing and spoke to me for over an hour. He gave me the option to ring again, but I haven't needed to. He clarified and put some useful facts into a plan for me to try and it helped me lift out of the situation I was in. I would use this route again, as I don't have anyone i can trust to talk to in this way. I hope this is of use to you.

meandmyjoe Wed 20-Aug-08 21:14:17

Aww bad timing for a row then! I hope she has a lovely party and that you can relax enough to enjoy it too.

My dh is very similar actually. He doesn't work abroad but does work very long hours so goes to work just as ds is getting up and comes home after ds is in bed so I am on my own A LOT! I think often men don't realise quite how draining it is to be without adult company for so long. There are many times when he's told me that everything's fine and that I'm lucky I get to spend so much time with ds when he misses a lot. I understand what he's saying but that doesn't help me! He always seems to have a million places to be rather than with us sad.

I'm sure your dh just wants the best for you all but men have a way of being bloody insensitive. They also seem to be able to over look how much hard work goes into being a full time parent. I really think my dh thinks I just sit on my bum all day watching daytime telle. If he knew quite how busy, yet boring it is I'm sure he'd sympathise.

It must be so hard having him abroad. At least he'll be back in the country soon when he does his masters. Even though you won't see him everyday, you'll know he's that little bit closer and CAN get to you when you need him.

Glad you tried talking to him but sorry you had a bit of an argument. I hate it when I try and tell dh exactly how I'm feeling as it always turns into an argument and I'm left feeling twice as miserable than I did when we started. Men!!!!!!!!???

How are you feeling now?

npg1 Wed 20-Aug-08 21:42:03

Ah thanks. Feeling ok. Just spoke to a friend who is having a really rough time at the mo and actually thought to myself my problems are nothing compared to hers.

Hopefully everything will be ok by friday and will blow over! Im sure he will ring tomorrow night anyway.

Yes men are so insensitive and just dont get it sometimes!

Think I will go to bed in a minute as im really tired. Will post again tomorrow if ok!

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