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(8 Posts)
DaughterofaWomble Sun 17-Aug-08 20:35:37

<deep breath> here goes, my mother has always hoarded, all the way through my childhood there were always bags of clothing, stacks of books, newspapers etc, which just got worse over the years but because it was a gradual thing I didn't really acknowledge how not normal this was.

It has now got to the point that within my parents house (I have one brother at home ft and 2 at home pt, my parents have a large bungalow)
-my mother sleeps in the spare room, which is stacked all round to head height, and you have to duck to get through the door,
-the corridors are half the width they should be floor to ceiling,
-there are 2 large rooms that you cannot enter, one has never been used in the 10 years since the house was extended.
-the kitchen is such a hazard I don't know where to begin
-the main living room is a big room but actual useable space within the room is approx 1/4 of it's floor area.

I know my mother has mh issues and has for years. some of the labels I have tentatively applied are depression, OCD (which manefists itself as hoarding), anxiety.

So ideas, please. Things have now reached the point where the situation is really affecting my dads health. if he tries to through any of the newspapers etc away she kicks off into such a tantrum, screaming, stropping, bellowing, sulking etc. If I suggest coming over to help her I get much the same reaction. She's always going on about how she had plans to do xyz but

Where do I start trying to get her help. Dad is reluctant in case of outside interferance, ["they might section her"] but i think its reached the point where something has to be done. she isn't really willing to go to the gp, is in total denial about the situation.

help pleasesad

blackrock Sun 17-Aug-08 20:49:56

Am feeling on your behalf sad. I think it is going to be difficult without getting your Dad to accept some sort of outside help. Your mother would not be sectioned for hoarding. My father was not sectioned and had issues that could have been a threat to people around him. I do not think this part is a problem. How well could your Dad work with you and your brothers? What would happen if either of your brothers broached the subject or all of you spoke to her together (maybe too much? If the house is so cluttered would she notice a gradual removal of items from for example the kitchen?

I think you should contact a professional confidentially - perhaps through a telephone helpline (this helped me enormously in my own situation) and exoress what you have said here. They may have more constructive ideas about where to start from.

Goodluck. i will check this thrad.

blackrock Tue 19-Aug-08 18:50:57

Hi *Daughter of womble* am still here...

Ready4anotherCoffee Thu 21-Aug-08 15:33:30

Hey, thanks for your message, It's relieving to know that it isn't just mesmile

After a bit of reasearch on the net I spoke to my dad again, he is quite happy to accept outside help, as he himself has come to accept the situation is beyond madness. However we agreed that getting my mum to accept any help will be challanging. However we did decide that she might be willing to accept help if we wrapped it up as bereavement counselling, as she has admitted that the loss of her mother just before christmas did hit her hard.

Next step? I have to find a therapist of some shape of form who can help, and go from there. suggestions of where I can find a reputable one will be appreciated!

Ready4anotherCoffee Thu 21-Aug-08 15:34:05

blush sorry, I meant to namechange again blush

blackrock Thu 21-Aug-08 21:22:51

cruse

counselling directory

You could try ringing one of these confidentially, and they would refer you onto the right organisation if they weren't right for you mum.

I am really glad your Dad is open to help. Good luck.

Dragonbutter Thu 21-Aug-08 21:30:36

blackrock, another mumsnetter thought you might be able to help here

blackrock Fri 22-Aug-08 20:30:09

dragonbutter Not able to help specifically but have posted a message.

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