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Who can I trust?

(4 Posts)
jabberwocky Tue 15-Feb-05 04:56:13

Well, here's the story: A couple of years ago, I was in business school. Dh is an artist and we live in a little arts community in the states. I thought it would be a great idea to start an arts guild like the one where we used to live. We were thinking of getting pregnant at the time (that worked out at least ) and I thought I could start the organization while in school, get non-proofit status established after graduation and possible even get a grant that would pay a small stipend to me as director. I thought it would also be a great way to get experience working in the non-profit sector and lead to ...who knows?
So, I started the group with a few artists in my living room and went to several workshops on grant writing, starting a non-profit, fund-raising, etc. Then, one of my friends who is also an artist wanted to help. Since I was now pregnant and finishing up my senior project for business school I welcomed any help. She started soliciting members and organized a big meeting.
Cutting to the end of the story - the group got completely out of control. They wanted to do too many things, way too fast. I wound up resigning because it was like herding cats! In December two of my friends (including the one mentioned earlier) told me they had decided they had to get things under control and were going to establish a board of directors to (finally!!) apply for non-profit status. They independently asked me if I would consider being on the board. I said yes both times.
Two weeks later, dh was asked to be on the board with not a word said to me! I feel so hurt I don't know what to say. He initially accepted but it proved to be so upsetting to me that he put in his resignation after the first meeting. I just need some input on this to try to figure it out.


Earlybird Tue 15-Feb-05 08:21:49

Sounds as if your friends have turned out not to be such good friends after all. Sorry to hear it, because that can be painful.

Is it possible that they have arbitrarily decided you don't have time to be on the board as you've got a child? Or do they think you wouldn't want to be involved again as you've already resigned once? I think for your own peace of mind you must have an honest conversation with your friend to find out what's going on. They have certainly sent you some mixed messages.

If you don't get a satisfactory response/can't resolve it, I would consider going ahead with your original idea - but on your own, without these fickle friends. But, you obviously must decide if the idea still interests you, if you think it's viable (considering your "herding cats" experience), and if you have the time to devote to it considering your other commitments.

By the way - what is an art guild, and what does it do?

jabberwocky Tue 15-Feb-05 15:16:40

It's hard to say if having ds made any difference in their decision. Dh mentioned that as a reason that we both were not asked but we don't really know if that's the case.
An arts guild is a non-profit group set up to promote the arts in the community through various ways such as supplying a venue for classes, studios, workshops, etc. It can put on shows and competitions for artists to broaden their audience. This is all done through grants and donations so there is typically quite a bit of paperwork involved. That's why I thought it would be a great job for me after I got my MBA degree. With my love of the arts it seemed like a great idea.
I have thought about starting again, with a much, much smaller more select group of artists.

jabberwocky Tue 15-Feb-05 18:59:01


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