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I can feel myself sinking into a depression but I feel completely unable to stop it

(4 Posts)
StellaWasADiver Wed 06-Aug-08 09:44:06

At this stage I feel I could still 'pull myself together' - but I just can't seem to cheer up or find any enthusiasm for anything...

My DS is 9.5 months, and I am back to work in a month. I should be making the most of my time with him but instead I am wishing the days away - not because of him, nor am I looking forward to work - I just look forward to going to bed again each day.

I am very, very lonely but right now I am shit company anyway.

A friend is strongly urging me to go to the docs but I will not go on ADs again - was on and off in late teens/early twenties, I came off citalopram 5 years ago and was very determined that that would be the last AD I would take.

I have list of things to do as long as my arm - but I am finding it hard to care.

I think my parenting is becoming shoddy too, I am sure DS would be having more fun with someone else.

I recognise all of this in myself but I can't do anything about it

coffeeholic Wed 06-Aug-08 11:47:21

Oh Stella, my heart goes out to you. I know how you feel and am going through something very similar, although my DDs are a little older (4 and 2).
I am very reluctant to take ADs and have been referred for counselling; I would advise you to go and ask for some talking help rather than ADs. Is your GP good? Or a bit of an old school don't bother me type? You can always ask for another GP in the practice.

Your DS is better with you; you are the person he loves and wants; and you need to get some help now; for both of you.

Lots of luck; we will get through this you know.smile

mumblecrumble Tue 12-Aug-08 19:39:03

Go to the docotrs. I had similar dilema this morning, went to GP and it was good. Your DS would rather be with you feeling at your worst than any other person in the world. Parenting is not about perfection and not all ADs are the same.

Sounds like you're prone to depression and that you deserve to have it attended to and so you can enjoy life.

I think the bit before you go back to work is strssful thinking about the time ahead and how it will go. I'm a teacher, went back but now feel twice as nervous about going back after summer holidays. I am banking on it being better when i get used to it all and things are more settled.

Even if you feel you are shit company get out soemwhere, toddler group etc etc and talk to others. They will probably be happy to meet you and your little one and you
ll feel better too. I would if you came to our group! And I'd probably share with you \my own fears about how I;m looking after DD and about antidepressants!

Good luck x

jesuswhatnext Thu 14-Aug-08 16:29:53

sweetie - taking ads is not an admission of failure, they are like any other drug designed to cure an illness!, if you had cancer you would not consider it a failure to have chemo would you? there really is no differance, depression is an illness like any other, although thankfully, there are a whole range of options open to you, please go to the docs and maybe you will be able to nip this in the bud. smile

mumblecrumble says it so much better than me!

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