sick of coping quietly

[copingvquietly]

im not coping today.my brain has alot going on.ive had 3 hrs sleep since yesterday and i want to scream shout and sit and cry all at the same time.im so tired but cant sleep.
im sorry if your all sick of me.ive no where else to turn to

[piratecat]

i am here, not a lthe time, altho it feels like it some days.

I don't know the best thing to suggest but I will be on here.

[LittleMissTickles]

hello copingvquietly. I don't have any wise or helpful words, just wanted you to know you are not alone, sending you a big hug. I love seeing your posts, every time, it is wonderful to see you are ok (even if today doesn't feel like it for you).

Hope tomorrow is much better, and may you have a few more hours' sleep tonight!!!

[MrsFearnleyWhittingstall]

Don;t know what to say except to keep coming on MN and venting and I know we don't usually but

//[[hugs]]]]] xxxxxxx.

[SoupKitchen]

I have read your other threads but never posted.
I think you have every right to not cope very loudly. But from the posts I have read you are a greaat mum doing the best you can in awful circumstances with very little rl support.

Please try and relax and get some sleep. IMO it takes at least an hour to switch off after turning off MN.

We are all here

[SquonkWalton]

we are not sick of you, sweetie pie.

It gets too much for all of us sometimes - especially when you've had hardly any sleep! Why don't you put J in his cot and go to your room, or the bathroom and howl and cry and yell a bit? It won't do any harm.

When you've got it out of your system a bit, start again.

Little steps, little steps...

[Habbibu]

Just to add to the chorus - we are not, and will never ever be sick of you, sweetheart. Keep talking - it's what MN is here for.

[copingvquietly]

i havent got over yesterday and im exhausted.icant eat even.ive lapsed before but this feels very different.ive written alot down today but it hasnt helped.im broken

[differentID]

No, not broken. A little squished out of shape, but not broken. You have done maarvellously well recently and acheived so much.

[copingvquietly]

all of that is irrelevant tbh.theres a saying isnt there

hope thinks nothing difficult despair tells us that difficulty is insurmountable

[tigana]

Right, well, despair is talking a load of bollocks. Now, Hope, that's the gal !!

No one is sick of you.

[Hangingbellyofbabylon]

It is quite normal after a panic attack to still feel very different for some time. Most panic attacks come and go quickly but I had a few where the weird feelings that everything had changed and nothing was the same and I didn't belong in this world - hung on and on right over a weekend. Did you get a chance to look at the no more panic website? there's a good bit here: 'many people with panic don't feel real or feel they are in a goldfish bowl. This is depersonalization and that they are not real (derealization) and is though this is just what the brain does when it is truly over-whelmed and is not a sign that you are going mad.' I know things feel desperate at the moment but it will fade and you will be able to face another day because you have already faced some of the worst things anyone could face and you are still here and still strong. I hope you've got your cctv sorted out too as I hope that will help you to feel a little more secure at the moment.

[copingvquietly]

what website.i dont know what you mean.
i dont feel right.everythings been big and slow.im anxious but detached?

[cheesesarnie]

no ones sick of you-we worry about you as your a lovely poster in difficult circumstances but doing a fantastic job as a mum by the sounds of it!

[bythepowerofgreyskull]

CvQ it's jingleyjen here
Huge hugs to you. no one is sick of you
you are an amazing woman.
you have done more for your little man than alot of people would have,

you have been through shit times for you and for J and you will have good times in the future I PROMISE

You are amazing. I wish I has a 10th of your strength.

[Hangingbellyofbabylon]

sorry, cvq - I posted a link on your other thread- it's here: www.nomorepanic.co.uk/NMPcms.php?nmppage=firststeps what you describe sounds exactly like the post-panic attack crap I used to get and you could really do without. God I wish I could magic it all away for you, I really do.

[copingvquietly]

hello jen.im not amazing.im teetering on the edge

[bythepowerofgreyskul]

OMG woman listen to me..

you have given you r son life..

that is a HUGE thing. that alot of women wouldn't do.

You have been startung/trying to handle all the SHIT that has gone on in the past and
Your little man hasn't been well.

aside from the normal ups and downs that everyone else goes through..

YOU ARE AMAZING!!
If there is ANYTHING I can do tell me. I will try my best to help I promise. JJxx

[bythepowerofgreyskul]

sorry for typo's have had too much wine

[differentID]

You are amazing- you have made some really tough decisions that many people will not have had the courage to do. You are doing your best to be the mummy for J he needs- and doing a great job. WE are a crutch, you do all the hard work yourself. How is the cctv?

[copingvquietly]

i want someone to just hold me

[Hangingbellyofbabylon]

virtual holding you close - I know it's not enough but so many of us here wish we could be right there with you.

[bythepowerofgreyskul]

I am really sorry that I am not close enough to jump in the car and come to you.
You deserve a break..

[copingvquietly]

i cant even talk to anyone.how am i supposed to take j to nursery like thisim fucking everything up

[bythepowerofgreyskul]

NO YOU AREn't
you can take him to nursery why do you need to talk to anyone..
there are lots of private people in the world.
even if it is against your instinct no one will think anything of you.
You are fab hon..