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I am "fine".... is that as good as it gets?

(10 Posts)
tigana Thu 24-Jul-08 11:41:34

Before I had ds, I was happy. Properly happy, felt a bit like cat with cream, lighthearted unless something specifically bad happening.
Since ds, (nearly 3 years ago)I have not returned to that state.
Relatively frequent heavy hearted, 'depressed' etc. In between that I am "fine". I never go above "fine" really.
(Feel the need to say - I don't regret having ds, I love him to bits ).

Is "fine" as good as it gets?

PussinJimmyChoos Thu 24-Jul-08 11:43:57

It does get better - trust me! One thing that I've found has helped me to move above that 'fine' level is exercise - I was gobsmacked at how much my mood lifted so you may want to consider that? I do a Tae'bo DVD when DS (two) naps.

I do sympathise..its hard going and the downs are ugh but it DOES GET BETTER!! Hang in there!!

Hannah81 Thu 24-Jul-08 11:50:08

No, I don't believe fine is as good as it gets. Have you had a chat about this to your gp? you may have a bit of pnd? its normal to feel different after having a child, but if you are feeling low, you should have a chat with your gp.

have you got a good circle of friends? can you talk to them? maybe go out with other mums from a parent/toddler group. you are not alone, there are many more people who feel like you. maybe opening up to your friends you will find that some of them feel similar.

Nobody doubts your love for your ds - but you need some time for yourself too - why not enrol on some short courses with free chilcare, just to give yourself a little bit of something for you.

tigana Thu 24-Jul-08 11:50:33

Thanks Puss. Feels like it should have already got better now ds is almost 3! How the feck do people have more than 1 child if it takes so long to get your head back into working order after each one!! Can't imagine how on earth I would manage with 'new baby looniness blues' on top of this!

PussinJimmyChoos Thu 24-Jul-08 11:57:23

I know what you mean! We are hoping to TTC no two soon and I'm a bit hmm about the whole PND thing but a lot has changed since DS - have more mummy friends, have joined baby groups, have got confident with driving so I now drive DS to the shops or IKEA if its a boring raining afternoon - it doesn't sound much but it does help towards your general outlook. I do find though, that the major leap towards all this has been via the exercise. Maybe its a co-incidence..but...

Hope you feel brighter soon!

PussinJimmyChoos Thu 24-Jul-08 11:58:26


I remember you from the Plymouth threads! Next time I'm down in Plymouth, I'll cat you and we can meet up for a chat about it all if you want. I've been through it and I know what its like. <hugs>

tigana Thu 24-Jul-08 11:59:40

Not spoken to GP.
Don't have a wide circle of friends. I have 2. One lives miles away and we meet up about once a year , the other works away alot.
I work FT, so no time for a short course etc...does doing the ironing in front of the TV count as "me time" ? hmm

PussinJimmyChoos Thu 24-Jul-08 12:02:27

Tig - I work part time and I find that hard going. Working full time is probably not helping the way you feel imo because there is just so much to do after work isywim? Any way you could cut back on your hours or is this not possible? If I dash off and don't reply, its because DS has woken from his nap

tigana Thu 24-Jul-08 12:08:00

DH and I have dicussed whether I could reduce my hours ( even half a day extra a week would be nice!) but at the moment our mortgage needs my full salary!

Hannah81 Thu 24-Jul-08 12:30:35

Mortgage - great things aren't they?
I really do feel for you - I'm sure that wanting less time in work and not being able to get it is contributing to you feeling like this. Maybe on the weekend, forget the ironing and housework and go out somewhere - even if its just a walk to the park - like Puss said. exercise works wonders.
Ironing in front of the tv isn't exactly what i'd call "me time!" lol Light a few candles around the bath and have a good soak - get your DH to tend to your LO if he wakes and have some well earned time to yourself.
I have to go out now,
Nowhere special though, just taking my sister to a job interview (about as exciting as my life gets too lol!
Good luck, thinking of you

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