I don't feel so bad now. I have realised that even though I have been ill for a few days, I don't actually feel so down and rotten anymore.
I have even picked up application forms to do a computer course at the local library.
I feel as though a lot of pressure has been lifted with the lovebirds going as ds2 used to just scream at them. (im so so bad) I do miss my little budgie terribly though and it's really upset me him dying. I can't get used to not having him being around.
DH is helping more around the house and its always his job to bath the kids and put them to bed. He lets the dog out first thing in the morning and takes her for a walk before bed most nights as well now. He makes the effort to spend time with me now too. I feel as though I am falling in love all over again with him. I have even considered going away with him to paris for a few nights and leaving the kids
I'm still mad about getting the cleaning done, but thats so we can spend time together later. After all....I love my bleach!! Lol. But if I don't get everything done it's not the end of the world anymore. I know DH will help me if it really needs doing, but other than that it can wait til the next day.
I feel as though I am starting to feel the fog lift a bit. I know I will have my odd bad days, but doesn't everyone?
I really couldn't have got through it without the help of all you wonderful ladies. Your help, advice and support has been what has kept me going. I would be dead if it wasn't for you lot. I mean that. I couldn't see anyway through it all and I have lost count of the number of times I have sat here crying my eyes out, just wanting to go to bed and not wake up again, convinced that my DH and kids would be better off without me. Seeing so many of you post on my (often stupid moaning and whingey) threads has given me the strength and the determination to carry on and to make the best of what I have got....my beautiful family....and my life.
Well its my babys first birthday today!! darling ds2 is a whole year and I can't believe how quickly its gone. Poor dd is being really sick though so we won't be going anywhere today. Oh well. Onwards and upwards!!! lol