Can't cope anymore.

[greeneyedgirl]

Just accepted a full time job to start in September at a school where I have been working part time. That's great you would think!!

But today I just couldn't make it in to do just 4 hours, this is the 2nd day I have had off in 3 months and I feel dreadful about it.

I think I have a bug as I have had an upset tummy and ahve been feeling sick on an off for weeks. This morning I felt dreadful and thought I might throw up and just couldn't make it into work. The thing is I can never tell if I am really ill or it is all in my head, I am having a really bad panic attack about everything and I don't know what to do. I'm scared that I won't be able to cope with a full time job and I'll get fired!!!

Am I insane? It feels like it!!!

[maidamess]

You sound very anxious, rather than 'ill'. being in full time employment may be a distraction for you, once you get into the routine. I hope it is! But there are lots of threads about anxiety and panic attacks on MN if you wanted extra reassurance.

[Dunkey]

Yup. Sounds like bad panic attacks. I also get them when I have return to work ie. after an absence.

If you spray batch remedy spray and work through it you will feel better.

I have been at work previously, shaking and wondering wtf am I doing here, then as people come in, it seems to pass.

Although there can be other times it does not pass and I fake a child being sick and run home.

Sorry I am not much help but thought I would share.

[greeneyedgirl]

Thanks, I just don't want to feel like this anymore. I have been to the GP and they are trying to get me some sort of CBT. Maidamess, that's what scares me, that this is all in my head, which means I don't know how to get well again.

[greeneyedgirl]

Ok, have calmed down a bit from this morning, but have just been told that I will need to be in work tomorrow as they have stuff left to do before the summer hols.

Still feeling poorly (nausea and horrendous stomachaches, which is not usual for me so I am still going with the theory that I have a bug). Right, I have to get through tomorrow, only 4 hours, but it seems like a mountain to climb feeling like this. I already know that I will probably get a panic attack tomorrow which will make it a hundred times worse, and add to that I am a (mild at the moment) emetophobe, how do you guys deal with a panic attack effectively? I just want to lessen that hideous "buzzy", can't cope with anything feeling, any advice very welcome.

[whateverhappened]

nausea and headaches can be stress-related - it comes out different ways in different people. Hard to tell though, if you think you might have a bug. If it comes back after the summer holidays then ask about counselling/cbt, just so you understand why you're feeling that way. Generally if I feel panicked I can reason my way out of it by working out exactly why I feel like that, and knowing that really nothing is going to happen. Lots of slow breathing, making sure you get regular exercise, and take time out for yourself rather than chargin around with work/house/family at high speed. Best of luck!