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Why will nobady help me???

(9 Posts)
charlotte121 Sat 19-Jul-08 10:36:26

Im on my own with ds aged 1 and dd aged 6 weeks. Have had a lot of complications since the birth and infection after infection. The doctors cant seem to identify the problem so just keep giving me different combinations of anti-biotics to see if they will solve the problem but so far I have just been left in agony.
Ds has decided he's not going to sleep through the night anymore and with dd waking up every 3 hours to feed im not getting any sleep. Im exhausted, emotionally and physically and I dont seem to have anyone to turn to. My family do give me help in dribs and drabs but always expect something in return. Im so lonely and tired of coping alone. my social life is none existant and I dont really have any friends. I never get a moment to myself... when the dc's are quiet theres always something that needs to be done and im not sure how much longer I can go on like this.
The worst bit is the constant pain im in. I told my mum this morning as she is a nurse and though she might have some practicle advice but she just got stropy with me and said "oh i suppose i'll have to come over and help you... no one ever considers me needs" and was generally unsympathetic. I feel like im going insane. I really dont know what to do. Im not going to do anything stupid as the dc's need me and there is no1 else to look after them but i just feel if i dont get some help soon im gonna go nuts.

butwhybutwhy Sat 19-Jul-08 10:43:02

I cant post much as I have to go and deal with screaming children but there are a few things you can do to get some help.

Firstly, if you feel you can, go back to your gp and explain to them how you are feeling.
You have 2 babies and are looking after them on your own. No wonder you feel like you do.
I have 3 children, 2 of which have a very small age gap. I find it hard and I have a dh to help me!

Secondly email your local surestart, depending on what area you are in they can send out someone to come and help you at home.

I'll try and link for you.

ScummyMummy Sat 19-Jul-08 10:45:58

Awwwwww. You poor thing. Must be v hard being on your own with such a tiny baby and a one year old. I think you're doing brilliantly to hold it all together for them. Is your health visitor any good? Or your GP? I think you should contact them both. Sounds like you could use a bit of support. Maybe your health visitor will know of some schemes like Home Start or Sure Start in your area. Hope your mum stops whinging and offers you some tlc today.

SpirallingOutOfControl Sat 19-Jul-08 10:46:21

bumping for you

no experience but I think you need to insist on seeing a specialist or getting to the root of it somehow. Taking so many anti-biotics is only going to make your system weaker and more prone to infection.

also, i'm afraid that even without the pain in your situation you would be exhausted. Would it be possible to get some paid help or Surestart?

Hope you feel better soon.

gagarin Sat 19-Jul-08 10:49:35

Oh dear - you poor thing. Do painkillers help at all? Perhaps you need to go back to your GP (again!) and ask what are the best painkillers to be using and see if there is anything on prescription that will help.

The other thing about pain is that it's worse when you are upset and anxious so maybe try some relaxation or something similar? I expect that sounds like a silly idea with you having so much to do on your own but sometimes even 5 mins relaxation in the bath - where you empty your mind of everything else that needs doing can give you a tiny boost.

And as for your mum - she sounds cross with you and tired herself. You say you are on your own with 2 babies - I bet there's a bit of her that can't believe the mess you're in and is angry with herself for letting you get into this situation - and with you for the same reason.

When you have time (!) try talking to her about how she feels and try and listen too. And then tell her how you feel and ask her to listen.

And how about a pyjama and TV day for you all today? Drop your standards for a while - don't do the housework - just sit and cuddle?

charlotte121 Sat 19-Jul-08 11:10:40

I cant have a pj day, we have to go to a friends birthday party and although it might seem a silly thing to go to when im so tired they have been so good to me over the years that I would like to just pop in and wish him a happy birthday. ds is going off with his dad for the afternoon so at least i will get a little bit of ppeace and quiet but i9 also have to go to tesco.

gagarin Sun 20-Jul-08 12:29:18

Hope the party went well - and tesco wasn't the nightmare it can be on a Saturday!

Do go back again to the GP if the pain is continuing - have you had an ultrasound to check if it's possible a bit of the placenta is left behind? Or is the pain not pelvic pain?

Hope today is quieter and less exhausting.

charlotte121 Tue 22-Jul-08 00:35:27

Pain is a lot better. Its "bum" pain lol. but everything is 100 times better!!! so much happier now!

HumphreySmallPillow Tue 22-Jul-08 00:42:33

Glad you're feeling better, charlotte.
You certainly have got a lot on your plate atm.
Did you get in touch with Surestart? smile

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