dd age 18 has been prescribed citalopram and signed off work - how do I help her?

[ellceeell]

Well, that's about it really. She has been getting steadily unhappier for some time. She had a minor accident about three weeks ago and since then has gone downhill rapidly - sleeps a huge amount, cries a lot, irritable, refused to get up to go to work etc. She doesn't want to talk about it to me. The GP is arranging some counselling, but not sure how long that will take.
How do I treat her? At the moment I'm walking on eggshells but I don't know if that's right. I would usually ask her to help with washing up etc - do I carry on as usual but with the proviso that if she says she is not up to it, let it go? Is there a website supporting parents of children with depression?

[lucyellensmum]

ellceeelll, im sorry you are going through this. I have an 18 year old who had counselling when she was at school, although it never really amounted to much.

Has your DD only been like this since the accident or has the accident brought it all to a head?

I can't really offer advice as i dont think i ever really got it right with DD. But as someone who is on citalopram herself, i didn't want lots of sympathy or pity, i just wanted to know that someone was THERE for me. If that makes any sense.

Where does she work? Does she like her job? could it be time for a change? I have had to learn a very hard and painful lesson with DD and that is totally step back, it is awful, i hate it, i feel like a bad parent, but she is happier for it. Not working at the moment and being a lazy arse about looking for another job. I just hope she comes round in her own time. Maybe she needs to take some time out from work etc...if she is only 18 then it sounds like she has gone from school straight to work or after college - might need a "gap year" or something to sort out where she is going in life.

I would say, just be very watchful of her over the next few weeks because the side effects of citalopram can make some people feel worse in the first few weeks but this wears off. Make sure she knows this and that she MUST talk to you if she feels "weird" at all. But don't tread on eggshells, she is not well, she is not a freak, if you start treating her differently she is going to feel very conspicuous. I would make it clear you love her an will talk any time she wants to but dont push her into it. Mine just you to tell me what i wanted to hear anyway.

Good luck, this is a difficult time but it will get better.

[ellceeell]

Thanks for your reply. She has been down for some months but seemed to get a lot worse very quickly. It might just be coincidence that it was the same time as the accident. She dislikes her job - but enjoys the money! She has always been good at commitment and doesn't give up easily.
Thanks for the warning about the side effects, I'll have a chat with her.
Good luck with your own dd and best wishes to you.

[lucyellensmum]

I hope she feels better soon - FWIW, i was in a bad way before i started on the citalopram, but they really worked for me and allowed me to enjoy life again. I had PND and some long term anxiety issues. I noticed an improvement within days and was lucky to only experience a bit of mild nausea for a few days as side effects. So i think it is a positive for your DD.

There is a thread on here called citalopram buddies, it does go on about side effects, but if you trawl through it, you will see that most people have a very positive outcome from taking them

Its so worrying isn't it, i never know if im doing the right thing, but i guess we just have to do our best - its all we can do in the end. Your DD sounds like a star, my DD could do with some of her commitment washing off on her

[ellceeell]

glad to hear that the citalopram helped you. dd has gone out tonight for the first time in a while. Part of me is glad - and she says she won't drink - but I think I won't sleep until she is safely home.

[lucyellensmum]

ellceel - i hope your DD found her way home safely last night. You shouldn't technically drink on citalopram but i do, on occasion but not to excess - i don't notice any bad effects really, but i really will only have one or two glasses.