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You can't help - I just need a friendly ear I guess.

(200 Posts)
KateandtheGirls Sat 29-Jan-05 01:07:38

As most of you are probably aware, my husband was killed on Sept 11 2001 at the World Trade Center.

I had come to terms (sort of) with the fact that my husband was murdered.

I had come to terms (sort of) with it being on our daughter's 2nd birthday.

I had come to terms (sort of) with being 11 weeks pregnant at the time, and our youngest daughter never knowing her father.

I had come to terms (sort of) with not having a body, or any "proof" that he was even in the building that day.

I had come to terms (sort of) with not knowing what happened to him and how he died.

I had come to terms (sort of) with the fact that he walked out of the door one morning to go to work and was never seen or heard from again.

I thought the hard part was over.

It's been almost 3 and a half years but it's still not over. A website was just launched which contains 8,000 photos recovered from the wreckage of the World Trade Center, for family members to look through and claim. I'm 600 photos in.

I know that my husband had at least one photo on his desk (of our daughter of course), possibly more. So of course I have to look through all the pictures. It's heartbreaking. Every picture is of a baby, or a smiling couple, or a bunch of people at a party, etc. And you just know that all the people in those photos are now orphans, widows, widowers, parents who have lost a child. And the photos, of course, are not all in great shape. You can see where they have been burned.

But every time I click the button to move on to the next picture I know that I could see my daughter's sweet, innocent face smiling at me, the way her father last saw her. Could anything be more depressing?

joash Sat 29-Jan-05 01:08:56


Tinker Sat 29-Jan-05 01:10:48

. Don't know what to say Kate but I can understand exactly why you're doing it.

SueW Sat 29-Jan-05 01:11:00

Oh Kate. I'm so sorry. ((hugs)) I have no idea what to say to you but I'd like you to know that I'm thinking of you right now.

essbee Sat 29-Jan-05 01:11:10

Message withdrawn

Gwenick Sat 29-Jan-05 01:11:39

oh Kate - bighugs - I'd picked up that your DH had died under tragic circumstances - hadn't realised it was due to the WTC

I can't even begin to imagine how you must feel, and what it must be like having to go through those pictures [flower icon]

CarrieG Sat 29-Jan-05 01:12:01

So sorry . What an awful task....

stupidgirl Sat 29-Jan-05 01:14:53


sallystrawberry Sat 29-Jan-05 01:16:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

colinsmommy Sat 29-Jan-05 01:26:28

Kate-I wish I had the words to help, but you are right, nobody does. I just want to let you know that I really admire and respect your strength (even if you don't feel that way now). I read Jim's tribute page that was posted in Sept., and the love you had for him was apparent throughout. I was so moved I had to show it to my DH,and he said the same thing. Know that I am thinking of you, especially now.

serenity Sat 29-Jan-05 01:41:37

Just wanted to add my love and sympathy <<<hugs>>>

seriouslycelibate Sat 29-Jan-05 02:06:54

Hi Kate..... I just dropped into the thread so I hope you don't mind me intruding.I lost my partner when I was much much younger,and although he died from illness,it was sudden and unexpected.I can't begin to imagine what the last years have been like for you,but I do know the pain and my heart goes out to you with a really big hug.

seriouslycelibate Sat 29-Jan-05 02:11:46

I also lost my son from cot death at 8 months.It was 6 years ago in March.That brought a pain and anger I thought I'd never escape from.But gradually,and I mean gradually,the hole inside me has got smaller.If you ever need an understanding ear,I'm here.

weightwatchingwaterwitch Sat 29-Jan-05 07:24:09

Oh KATG, how awful, I'm sorry.

oops Sat 29-Jan-05 07:35:13

Message withdrawn

nailpolish Sat 29-Jan-05 07:37:14

oh kate what a terrible thing for you to have to do. i cant imagine how you feel every time you click on another picture. you are so brave.

love to you and your girls. i knew from a previous thread about your dh, but not about it being the same day as your dd's birthday or you being pg at the time.

once again, you are so brave. my heart goes out to yu and your family

lots of love xxx

bobbybob Sat 29-Jan-05 07:46:46

You are right, I can't think of anything more depressing. Take your time Kate, and I hope you do find something.

twiglett Sat 29-Jan-05 07:53:32

{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} Kate

No, I don't think anything could be more depressing and I am amazed at your strength and serenity

you will get through this too {{{{{{more hugs}}}}}

Peckarollover Sat 29-Jan-05 07:56:33


I am humbled by what you have had to go through

Lots of love to you and your girls


misdee Sat 29-Jan-05 07:59:16


Beetroot Sat 29-Jan-05 08:00:01

Message withdrawn

LIZS Sat 29-Jan-05 08:06:11

Kate, that is just so sad. Sending you {{{hugs}}} and the strength to get you through it.

winnie Sat 29-Jan-05 08:27:21

Kate, I am so sorry. Thinking of you and your girls {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

sobernow Sat 29-Jan-05 08:31:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tigermoth Sat 29-Jan-05 08:49:40


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