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DS1 just threw a COMPLETE wobbly - feel really shaken....

(13 Posts)
mumbojumbo Mon 24-Jan-05 13:59:19

DS1 finished his preschool session at lunchtime and I took him and his younger brother to McDonalds for lunch. It was very busy and there was a long queue. DS1 kept wandering off in the place and, despite my calls didn't come back. I had to retrieve him and therefore lost my place in the queue. This happened twice and we then went outside. I explained to DS1 that he had to stay with mummy as it was so busy and we went back inside. He immediately wandered off again - at which point I took his hand and left. I then endured the worst tantrum of his life. He kept throwing himself on the floor or lying in front of the buggy or on top of his brother who was in the buggy. He was screaming crying and shouting all the way back to the car, which took ages. I tried to pick him up, but it was impossible to carry him and push the buggy. In any case, he kept kicking me. I couldn't get him into his carseat either. All in all, its been a total nightmare. As a PND sufferer, I feel it's totally knocked me for six. Everyone was staring at us, DS2 was in tears in his buggy, DS1 was screaming and crying and I was almost in tears.

Just feel like crying now. DH tried to make light of it but I just feel completely trashed. Certainly don't feel up to going out again for some time.

Just thought I'd try and write it down to make some sense of it all.

galaxy Mon 24-Jan-05 14:00:33

mumbojumbo. NO advice, just hugs <<<<< >>>>>>>

SPARKLER1 Mon 24-Jan-05 14:02:11

dds have done this sort of thing to me many a time. It really makes you feel crap though doesn't. Good for you carry it through though. At least you stuck to your guns and went home instead of returning to McDonalds. Ds will now know that you meant it!!! You've done the right thing. <<<hugs>>>

Lonelymum Mon 24-Jan-05 14:02:43

Oh dear. So sorry. If it is any consolation, not everyone who stares at you and your child when he is having a tantrum is looking at you disapprovingly. Some of us are thinking "poor woman and thatnk God it isn't only my children who can't control themselves!"

coppertop Mon 24-Jan-05 14:06:32

My 2 boys have their worst meltdowns when they are tired. Your ds was probably just tired out from pre-school, couldn't deal with the queues of people and then eventually exploded.

My guess is that the staff see it all the time. I bet a lot of the customers were thinking sympathetic thoughts rather than thinking badly of you.

Cadbury Mon 24-Jan-05 14:12:39

How horrid mumbojumbo. I've been there with my dd. She has done the throwing herself infront of the pushchair and one particular day in town we had a tantrum in Staples (where she also hit me) we had 2 or so more instances of her screaming blue muder and throwing herself on the floor and I had to pick her up and carry her under my arm, kicking and screaming whilst pushing the pushchair and lots of shopping. She then lay on the floor and screamed for 25 minutes outside Sainsburieswhile I tried to ignore her, stop my 1 year old from joining in and put up with old women trying to talk to her and say things like "OOOO she's got a temper on her" and "Oh I saw this kind of thing on Little Angles dear and you are doing everything right". I feel gittery just thinking about it so I understand how shaken up you must be.
I don't know that I have any advice, just to say I'm with you and you did the right thing by walking out with him and not letting him get away with it.
If you possible can, find yourself a quiet corner or locked room with a cap of something hot and sweet and try to calm your nerves.
Sending lots of hugs, cadders

crunchie Mon 24-Jan-05 14:13:10

mumbojumbo, please don't worry AT ALL of course you are feeling bad about it but I can assure you it does get better - well that is what I say to myself everyday

I have just had a week on holiday with my two (5 and 3) and TBH they both spent nearly the entire week having tantrums. Yes the lying on the floor screaming and ranting kind, the kicking/hitting/pushing kind, and the plain whiney whingy kind. What made it worse was my MIL and FIL having a go at us becasue 'you might distirb other people!' OH really!!, you don't say !!

Anyway that is not to boast that my kids are worse than yours or that you don't know how bad it can be It is just to say the amount of cringing horrible stuff I have endured the past week made me cry myself to sleep. All I wanted was a nice holiday

My only tip is to try to keep your cool and to (if possible) not try to move a tantruming toddler. Just stand back to them whilst they lie on the floor (dirty maybe) and smile sweetly around and talk in a very loud voice if anyone dares look over. Tell ds how much he is embarassing himself, but hey you are enjoying the veiw etc.

Good luck

SPARKLER1 Mon 24-Jan-05 14:16:45

Well meaning OAPs get right up my nose in these situations.

Blu Mon 24-Jan-05 14:24:56

So sorry, MumboJ - he's probably a bit on edge and furious with you about leaving him at nursery, too - following on from your other thread. DS told me he didn't love me and hoped a rocket would come down from space and land on my head and burn me with it's flames!!! We have also had tantrums, which are most unusual for him.

Don't take it personally, just try ands see it as something that doesn't matter much. For myself, i usually find it more stressful to take him out for lucnh etc, and not at all a treat - perhaps next time get something nice to have at home and head straight there - or if warm enough to a park bench?

Really sorry - it's pants, isn't it?

SPARKLER1 Mon 24-Jan-05 15:44:42

How are you feeling MumboJ? x

mumbojumbo Mon 24-Jan-05 15:57:25

Hi all

Thanks for all your posts, I'm feeling a little more "together" now thanks mainly to a large bar of chocolate and couple of cups of tea.

DS1 seems to have completely forgotten about it! DH had to come home at lunchtime and sat with him for a while and had a little word with him, man-to-man ....DS then came into the kitchen and said "sorry mummy" and gave me a big hug. Then he told me to be quiet giving me a cheeky smile!

I'm grateful for all your posts - at least I'm not alone! I think I was possibly expecting too much following a stressful time at preschool. Blu, I will be heading straight home after his next session - and leave the McDonalds for another time!

Thanks again mumsnetters, I feel OK!

Cadbury Mon 24-Jan-05 16:24:35

Glad to hear it MJ. Pre-school really takes it out of them.

Casmie Mon 24-Jan-05 17:53:18

mumbojumbo: you did exactly the right thing - well done you! How horribly stressful for you, though

I'm sure the people at MacDonalds have seen far far worse. In fact, I know they have. I usually make a point of going to MacDonalds when I'm at my lowest ebb just to reassure myself that there are even more badly behaved children out there than mine

I agree with the posters who said that at least some of the stares will be people thinking "oh thank God it's not my two for once"!!! And going out next time will be easier because your ds will know that you carry through with your threats.

hugs - keep up the chocolate and I think you've earned a large glass of wine tonight

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