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North London Depression Group for Mums

(16 Posts)
ElectricBlue Fri 21-Jan-05 02:14:18

I'm an older mum and have been suffering from depression, particularly badly in the last year. I was trying to find a Depression Group close to me and I looked on this site here . They have many local depression groups around the UK listed, if anyone wants to see if there is one running near to them. I couldn't find one very local to me so I'm considering starting one up. I don't know what's involved yet and I've emailed the site today for general info.

Are there any mums in North London in the N4, N8, N22, N15 areas who would be interested in a Depression Group. These are my nearest areas and I live halfway between Harringay and Crouch End. I have no one to talk to who really understands. I've recently come out of a very controlling relationship and my xdp had anger/violence problems. I have a DS of 7.

If the D/group doesn't work out perhaps it could be turned into a meet up?!! The reason I deliberately focussed on the depression issue is because I've got all the classic signs of depression because of the things I've been thru recently. So although I haven't lost my sense of humour - I'm friendly and come across as cheerful - the normal sounding meet-up (happy, bright, breezy) might be a strain right now. I'm often in a frozen, teary, desperate state and I've had some alarming new symptoms recently, especially erratic sleeping patterns which have spurred me into action. It would be nice to find a supportive group where we could relate to eachother.

I've posted this also on the Meet-ups Board too. You can post here or CAT me if you are interested or have any comments or suggestions. Get in touch!

flakecake Fri 21-Jan-05 12:44:32

hi, i'd be interested to meet for chats, may be theraputic!

ElectricBlue Fri 21-Jan-05 21:17:21

Flakecake - it would be therapeutic! It's helps to be able to talk to others who feel the same. I'll let you know what happens. I'll CAT you. There are so many depression threads and people get depressed for so many reasons - I just thought, why not meet up. Btw, whereabout do you live?

flakecake Sun 23-Jan-05 21:30:20

Hi electric, I am surprised you have not had more responce. I am in NW London. I think a big issue in a lot of cases of depression is lack of support, or positive imput. You know the traditional "extended family" really does not exsist. Now-a-days you touch base with people acouple of times a year in their busy life, and that is no type of support.

ElectricBlue Mon 24-Jan-05 00:04:20

Flakecake - glad you brought that up! At first I was surprised about the response too, but then I thought it over, it made sense: most people, including me want to make first impressions when we're at our best! I'm asking for depressed mums to present themselves at their worst! The response depends on everyone's mood. Depression is usually linked to mood swings - I see messages all the time and think, I really fancy doing that/going there, but I can't commit right now and I'm not in the right frame of mind ..... or I can't do it because I'm not feeling that great about myself right now ....! So many mums on here/other boards get very depressed and stressed in the Christmas holidays and really need support; when school starts up they have a little relief or feel more in control, so maybe I should have posted a few weeks earlier for a better response!

"Clinical, or major depression is the world's No. 1 mental disorder, the 2nd most disabling condition in the world behind heart disease. And it's growing at an alarming rate." source: this depression site .

Even I feel that talking about all of this makes me sound very doom and gloom, it sounds so unattractive. But I know depression affects so many, but we wait (this includes me) until it's a huge problem, until we're having problems sleeping or getting out of the front door to do a school run ....

Anyway I'm not giving up!

flakecake Mon 24-Jan-05 11:06:04

Hi there,
any ideas for a meet? Hopefully with babies attached as I don 't have any baby-sitter.

ElectricBlue Thu 27-Jan-05 10:20:35

Flakecake, I'm a bit dizzy I've been knocked out by a winter cold and aches etc. Haven't heard back from the Dep Alliance yet. That might be a slow thing to get off the ground. I want to bring my ds to the meet so the half term week wd be best(w/c Sat 12 Feb) if that's not too far off. Maybe meet for coffee in a softplay centre - my ds can go off and play on the equipment and we can chat? I can meet earlier but it then it might be without him.

How are things with you? Are you feeling OK? How old are your kids?

flakecake Wed 02-Feb-05 11:19:33

Hi there, hope you are well. I am not so good, and I am hoping Doc will let me go back on Anti-D. I don't think they are that good but I'm hoping they will stabalise my moods. My moods used to change every few days but now it's daily- 1 good 1 low.
The process of pregnancy really changes a women... But having support (which I have little of) has a major affect.
My email - aretha11066@yahoo.com Coffee and lunch next week would be nice. Let me know

ElectricBlue Fri 04-Feb-05 11:29:01

Hi FC, sorry to hear you're going up and down. Hopefully the ADs will make the difference - maybe you should ask for different med if you weren't happy with the previous med? After childbirth, even with family, stabilty and support, it can be very tough, and I know what it's like without the support. I had a little after the birth of my ds but things worsened since then with loads of family politics - not the way I imagined pregnancy and motherhood to be.

My moods have been up and down too but much better in the last couple of weeks. I really took a nosedive in the first few weeks of Jan and my sleep was badly affected (still is but not so severe) and I had some very unproductive frozen days where I was not achieving much. 3 times after a bad night sleep, I dropped my ds to school, came home, slept for a few hours, hurredly washed up and picked him up again and that's all I did .... I like to be productive, so for me to escape like that, it's quite a dip. I read somewhere feeling at your worst in the morning and better as the day goes on is a strong indication of depression and I've had that a lot recently. Have been doing meditation, which has helped.

Next week is not good for me, but 15, 17 and 18 wd be good. My ds is quite active so I will have a think about what we can do and post again.

flakecake Wed 09-Feb-05 17:05:08

ok... I've changed my doctors to closer to where i live. I'm hoping fresh eyes will produce more helpfull advice. My old doc just seemed to think I was getting on ok but almost every day is like a challange! Anyway even trying to think positive I find helps and me yoga!
Do you know Roundwood Park? Very nice park to meet for a couple of hours- there are snacks and teas and stuff. Let me know what day- Wed' Lunch time is good.

flakecake Fri 18-Feb-05 12:06:15

Hi, I checked my email but no response from you. It is Friday soooooo? Maybe another time soon.

ElectricBlue Fri 18-Feb-05 19:07:12

Flakecake - I didn't check my mail yesterday - the only day I didn't check! Because I'd sent you a few emails on the trot and not heard back eitherway, I assumed something was up. Thought you might be having some problems or something, but I'm glad to see you are about. Just left a message on your phone. Will email you today.

melsy Sat 19-Feb-05 11:35:07

Electricblue , I just happned apon your thread late lastnight and sat up till gone midnight readig ALL of that link to the clinical depression webisite. For me it was the biggest breakthrough in understanding my various depressive issues of the last 15-20years and what I can do to help myself.

I think EVERYONE suffering shoud read it , as its really clearly explains it alll and not just for the sufferer but for people living with them who get frutsrated with it all(my dh for one thing!!. What most gave me releif was the fact that there are quick , time based therapies that help enourmously and that gave me such hope and relief. Also my family are very secptical of the therapy I have received so far ,on this website it explains why they havent been the best therapies (IN FACT ONE MAN I SAW WAS MORE DETRIMENTAL).

I live more outside north london(ENFIELD) , and havent yet looked at the other link about support groups in my area.

I think the hardest battle is getting the NHS more educated into the right therapies and less inclined to just give anti depressants, which only help a VERY small part of the problem or a syptom of depression as it said on that wbsite NOT THE CAUSE.

ElectricBlue Mon 21-Feb-05 00:53:08

Melsy, I read it in small chunks over several days ... well nights actually. My concentration is not too good ATM - it mentioned concentration being affected on the site. It's an interesting site. I've avoided the ADs but only because it's never worked out and I've had bad reactions.

I think the best therapy is probably the most obvious - knowing that we are not alone - and finding people who feel the same. Sites like this are so important. People feel alone when they have depression, despite the huge number of people it affects. We see the doctor, clutch the presciption, go home, shut the door, take the pill and feel alone, even with our partner and families in the next room. There is no one to go through the experience of depression with and sometimes the closest people to us hamper things by being emotionally involved - it's also hard for them to be unbiased. That's why I wanted to start a depression group. I'm not doing much about it ATM - still haven't heard from Dep Alliance for starting-up tips. I need to do a bit more brainstorming, I know there is a need, the statistics are clear (the doctors surgeries see a huge number of people about depression) but I haven't worked out how to reach the target group yet in my area. Will definitely pursue it in the future. My head's been busy lately because my marriage broke down 2 months back.

chana8 Fri 25-Feb-05 11:44:03

I read that you have started cognitive analytic therapy, is this the same kind of thing as Cognitie behaviour therapy. Were are you having this , is it on NHS or private?? hope you dont mind all these questions, I want to be quite informed about it all b4 my appt with gp in March. I have to get them to help me withought pills.

ElectricBlue Sun 27-Feb-05 02:01:36

Hi chana, I had a look at some sites for definitions to see what the difference is: CBT and CAT . Considering my issues, I could just have easily been referred for CBT instead of CAT. I've just skimmed these links - the CBT info seemed very good, lots of examples. The CAT link describes exactly the therapy I'm getting so far: I've been asked to keep a diary and fill a long questionnaire. I've only had 2 sessions. I'm finding it very helpful and interesting keeping track of my moods and feelings and writing everything down.

My therapy is on the NHS, weekly at a hospital. Feel free to ask me anything, if there is anything I don't feel I can put on the board I could CAT you. I did see your other thread re. Struggle and was/still am planning to post on it, I keep getting sidetracked this week. I really relate stongly to many of your circumstances and reactions. Will be in touch soon.

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