Help me please, especially anyone with knowledge of self-help therapy.

[Lonelymum]

I know I am not the only one to feel like this today but I don't want to hijack other people's threads. I am feeling so scared and lonely today. Dh is away until Weds evening and I am alone with four children and feeling less and less able to cope. It is hard to explain why but if you know me from my phoia threads, you will know I have a phobia that my children will be sick and it becomes unbearable to cope with when dh is away. I am awaiting therapy, but haven't an appt yet. What can I do to get through the next 48 hours?

[Lonelymum]

That should read phobia threads.

[amynnixmum]

Sorry Lonelymum, no real advice as no experience. Is there no one else who can come round and be with you to offer you some support?{{{{hugs}}}}

[jangly]

Oh you poor thing! Don't quite know what to suggest. Try and keep upbeat if you can - have music on radio (Radio 2?) all day, and keep t.v. on if that helps.Try and keep busy perhaps, or keep your nose in a book if you like reading and your kids will let you! Don't worry about your phobia - they're not going to get poorly in a couple of days - really they won't. The time will soon pass.

[Lonelymum]

Well, no, I don't really know people in that way. If a real emergency occurred, I could go to my neighbours, but not about this issue. No-one but me, dh, my GP and any Mumsnetters who have read my threads know about it. I am so scared and tearful. I really don't know what to do. I want to run away.

[amynnixmum]

Any mners local to you?

[Lonelymum]

Another thing: ds is supposed to go to Beavers tonight but that will mean taking 4 children out in the rain to take him and fetch him. Usually dh is home in time to pick him up or look after the others so I can pick him up alone. I don't want him to go tonight but I feel if I don't let him go, I am giving in to my phobia a bit more (almost taking the first step towards agarophobia IYSWIM).

[amynnixmum]

Could one of the other parents bring him home?

[Lonelymum]

No Mners that I know of. I live in a village quite a way from any town. Anyway, I would need them to look after my children all night for me! I am so ashamed to admit this.

[Lonelymum]

Re other people bringing him home, there is one woamn but I have leant on her too many times. No, he will just have to miss it tonight. Anyway, we wouldn't get there in time now.

[BubblesDeVere]

Lonelymum, where abouts do you live?

[Lonelymum]

West Sussex.

[BubblesDeVere]

Damn, too far away, I would have happily come round for a cuppa.

[eeyore123]

Hello LM. I know how you are feeling today. DH forgot to take his mobile to work today and I hate not being able ot get hold of him. Set me off on a panic attack when I saw it sat there on the worktop. I couldnt face going out on friday and today I felt the same but HAD to take the kids to school. I don't know what to suggest. Just wanted you to know I am thinking of you. {{{HUGS}}}

[Lonelymum]

Thanks eeyore. Isaw your thread today and on Friday, (well, saw it on Sat) but didn't post because I feel as miserable as you and didn't know what to suggest. My dh has his phone with him at least: I would go barmy if he didn't although sometimes it isn't switched on (although dh says it is) and that is just as bad. Is your dh home tonight?

Thanks for the thought Bubblesdevere.

[eeyore123]

thanks. yes he is home. but doing his own thing.

[MummytoSteven]

Hi LM

agree with most of beetroots post - to do with doing relaxation type stuff - maybe even doing some of the breathing type exercises from antenatal classes might help? and just in general if there is anything that will distract you - telly/book/film, put that on to make the time go quicker. avoid too much caffeine, and drink plenty of water, and try and eat regular meals.

[Lonelymum]

Thanks everyone. DS is going to Beavers so I feel less of a failure as a mum in that respect. I know I need to relax, but that is easier said than done. I usually take a DVD or video to bed with me when the kids go to bed so I suppose that is the right thing to do. The worst bit about tonight though is that dh won't be here tomorrow. Usually I go to bed and think, "I will soon be asleep and with any luck I won't wake until morning and then I only have to get through a day and dh will be home again" but this time, that isn't true. I will have to go through this all over again tomorrow.

I keep crying in front of my children - the eldest is 8. I really don't think I should cry in front of them, especially not him as he is old enough to be scared by it but not old enough to do anything about it. I pretended just now I was crying because the dinner was burnt, but I wasn't really. What impression am I giving my children?

BTW eeyore, I know who you are!

[Lonelymum]

[jangly]

Lonelymum - try to not cry in front of your ds. It could upset him and even leave a little bit of a mark emotionally. Sorry - don't mean to be harsh. The time will go quickly. We'll be thinking of you!

[Lonelymum]

Yes I know I shouldn't do it Jangly. I have always favoured displaying my emotions (I wear my heart on my sleeve I suppose) but this is going too far.

[jangly]

Mind you, none of us are perfect - bet we all do things we shouldn't which probably affect our kids a bit. We'd have to be saints not to!

[fostermum]

where in west sussex lonelymum?

[fostermum]

im in west sussex thats all thought i might be close by

[Lonelymum]

Near the East Sussex border Fostermum. I think I have seen from a meet up thread that you are near Chichester? So just about as far away from me and still in West Sussex as it is possible to be! Sorry, I wasn't ignoring you, just couldn't get on to Mumsnet for a while - must be busy tonight. Spent the time ogling pics of Michael Kitchen instead.

Well, better news. Dh has left a message on the ansa phone to say he will be back tomorrow after all. Hope I get through tonight now.