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Anyone had counselling?

(24 Posts)
SPARKLER1 Sun 16-Jan-05 21:49:46

Been started on ADs. GP didn't seem to think that counselling would help as I have been depressed for over three years. He said if it had started say in the last three months he would have suggested it. I am beginning to wonder if I may find it helpful.
Have you had counselling and how did you find it helped you?
I am not sure as to why I have depression but can sit and think of a few reasons that could be contributing to it. Is that something that a counsellor would do and how would they help you to work through them?

Evesmama Sun 16-Jan-05 21:51:32

its worth a try, you may find you realise things when talking to a councellor, that you hadnt previously linked with your depression?
you sound as if you 'want' to be able to speak to someone, so i think its a good idea to look into it.
good luck

Moomin Sun 16-Jan-05 21:58:02

Sorry to hear you're feeling low, Sparkler. I've had two lots of counselling, one at Relate when my first marriage split up, both with ex-dh and then on my own and I can't recommend that highly enough.
more recently I've had counselling for more like the type of thing you might be after - she was a qualified counsellor whom i found through the yellow pages but who was professionally accredited. I went to see her because of feeling low generally which i thought at the time was to do with some family bereavements. dh came with me once then i went on my own the other times.
it was a very cosy set-up - not clinical or scary and she was very 'gentle' with me and encouraged me to talk and would give me some feedback every so often to things i had said, or she would ask me questions about why i thought certain things or how i felt about them.

as a siad before it was very gentle and gradual and i didn't think i'd got much out of it to start with but then i began to realise that she's pointed me in the direction of things i hadn't considered and she also reassured me that a lot of the feelings i had were normal. i went for about 6 sessions then felt ok enough to start dealing with things myself. I'd definitely go again in the future if i thought i needed it.

I don't know if this is helpful to you as each person and each counsellor is different, plus i wasn't referred by my gp, but hope it starts you off on the right track. X

SPARKLER1 Sun 16-Jan-05 21:58:51

I understand that a counsellor can help to work out what is getting you down but how do they help you to get over these things? Sorry for all the questions. x

Moomin Sun 16-Jan-05 22:03:43

ime, both times i had counselling they helped me cope with what had happened and they helped me reach my own way out of what i was feeling. sorry if this sounds vague. i remember when i went to relate i wanted her to wave a magic wand and 'cure' me and she told me very early on that this wouldn't be happening - i felt very disappointed! but they are trained professionals and if they are any good, they know what to say to help you recognise why you feel the way you do and give you ways to help you cope. in the end though, it's you that does the work for yourself - they just help you get there. a good counsellor will give you the tools to help you - they won't actually 'cure' you. HTH

KatieMac Sun 16-Jan-05 22:05:29

When I had counselling they didn't solve the problems - they kind of enabled me to deal with them. No answers maybe different ways of explaining the problem?

mishi1977 Sun 16-Jan-05 22:11:31

hi sparkler
i posted on your other thread about meds...i think counselling would help...they dont give you answers but it enables you to talk through what you are feeling and then sort of points you in the right direction to helping work through those feelings...prior to having my son (and subsequentaly my depression)i was a mental health worker so know through seeing so many people receive counselling how beneficial it will be. After suffering for 5yrs meds are not going to give you an answer they are great as a buffer to help you balance your mood in order to then deal with whatever is the issues making you feel low...depression doesnt come from nowhere it is hormone related but also a lot to do with external factors in your life...I have only stopped counselling as i am waiting to have some post traumatic disorder therapy and having that with counselling would end up leading to contradictions as it is working on different things...i will take up counselling again if i need it after the ptsd..hope this helps and it isnt just waffle
take care and huge hugs
mishi

Caribbeanqueen Sun 16-Jan-05 22:13:59

I agree with what the others have said, a good counsellor will not give you advice, but will enable you to find your own solutions to the problems you have. With their help, by talking through things you should come to your own conclusions or reach decisions about the best courses of action for you to take.

I don't see why having depression for a few years rather than a few months would be a reason not to have counselling - I think it would definitely be worth giving it a try.

Find a counsellor who is professionally accredited and who you feel comfortable with, try more than one if necessary because if you don't feel comfortable you won't get as much out of it.

mishi1977 Sun 16-Jan-05 22:14:35

sprry meant to say
about getting over things..sometimes you may never get over what is aking u depressed but u are given the skills to cope with it and to move on from it....part of me would not like to forget my issues because they add to making me who i am...if that makes sense but being given the appropriate skills to deal with the issues is priceless

SPARKLER1 Mon 17-Jan-05 12:01:23

Thanks so much everyone. I am definitely going to speak to GP when I go back in two weeks and ask him to arrange counselling for me.

SPARKLER1 Mon 17-Jan-05 21:00:47

I know there isn't a magic cure but a lead in the right direction would be good.

Evesmama Tue 18-Jan-05 21:23:23

hi sparkler how are you feeling?

SPARKLER1 Wed 19-Jan-05 20:18:02

Hi EM. Sorry just seen your message, thanks for asking. Not doing too badly. Have been keeping on top of things around the house so am feeling good with all that. The doctor told me that the tablets would take about two weeks before I would feel any benefit so not sure if I've felt anything or not. Still feeling very tired although I've been making a real effort to get to bed earlier. I feel a lot calmer with dds too - handling their naughty behaviour in a much better way. Instead of shouting, smacking and feeling wound up I've been making a real effort to talk about the situation and give them options instead. Maybe the tabs have kicked in??? Who knows?

Riebee Thu 20-Jan-05 17:28:09

Sparkler

I had some sessions with a councellor about three years ago. I was with an abusive partner for ten years and after we split up I coped pretty well for about a year but eventually it all caught up with me and I was prescribed AD's and refered to a councellor through my GP. I found it a great help, if only for the fact that it was someone completely unconnected to me who could listen and not judge. I often found that what she said was what deep down I really knew myself but it was good to have her confirm things and I am really glad I did it. I wouldn't say that it cure my bouts of depression as I have been back on AD's twice since for a few months at a time but I do believe it enabled me to put a few things behind me and (sorry for using this term) achieve a sense of closure.
I think if you are thinking yourself that you might like to talk to someone then maybe it is worth a go. Good luck

Evesmama Fri 21-Jan-05 11:18:19

chances are the tabs are making you tired, my doc said the last ones he gave me were meant to 'chill me out'... i was sleeping at every opportunity and even when not!, dont worry, i should wear off as the tabs get into your system..good luck

lunavix Fri 21-Jan-05 11:20:25

I think the thing with counselling is that if you are willing to give it a try it will work for you.

oops Fri 21-Jan-05 11:25:15

Message withdrawn

kernowcat Fri 21-Jan-05 11:29:29

i've just started back on the tabs not sure that they make alot of difference but hoping that when our referal comes through that will help.
Depression sucks its never just about one situation or person but just a general feeling of being unenthusiastic about everything. Finding this site is helping me alot mentally but maybe not physically or finacially as I'm sitting here talking instead of doing my CV! Good luck with your counselling request.

SPARKLER1 Fri 21-Jan-05 18:13:11

Thanks everyone. x

stressedmummy Fri 21-Jan-05 19:16:27

I had some counselling after the birth of ds2.
I had been suffering from depression through most of my pregnancy & after the birth and was referred by my hv for counselling.
I was also given ad's, but preffered the idea of counselling, as I thought it may get to the root of the problem.
I waited around 8 weeks before any sessions became available, as mine was through my surgery.
I found them very helpful & liked having someone to talk to who was completely detatched from my family.
She made me realise a lot of things that I had never thought of before about myself & address issues that were very wrong in my relationship with my H, that I may have just accepted before.
I had 12 weeks worth of sessions & it definately helped me through a difficult time.
Infact I could really do with some more sessions right now, but that is a whole different story!!!

SPARKLER1 Sat 22-Jan-05 12:21:25

I am feeling so confused. I get a good day and think to myself I don't need counselling as things are okay. Get a bad day and I don't know why and then begin to wonder if I did ask for counselling what I would actually tell them when I'm there. IYKWIM. Sorry rambling a bit.

carolerl Sat 22-Jan-05 13:45:05

I had severe depression after marriage broke up. Completely alone, two daughters under three, no family around, lots of great friends though. Great doctor. was on ADs for a while and good short term help. Not keen on taking any meds but got me through the day. Big breakthrough for me was hypnotherapy arranged by my GP. Might sound daft but it really helped me cope and I still use the techniques today. I'm a really positive person but now and again the big black clouds loom over but I feel I've got the power to chase them away! I actually like the person I am now but it did take me quite a while to get there!
Good luck!

cx

blueteddy Sat 22-Jan-05 15:43:31

I posted on your other thread about the ad's sparkler.
I was offered counselling after starting the tablets & found it really helpful.
They just sit & listen to you & then really help you to understand why you are feeling the way you are.
Sometimes I would go to a session in my lunch hour & because I had not had time to switch off from work, I would wonder what I was going to talk about that week, but amazingly you always seem to find something!
My experience with my counseller really made me address certain issues in my life.
It also gave me an idea of why I was the person I was, by going right back to my childhood.
I would definatley go again & reccomend it.

flic Sat 22-Jan-05 19:48:41

just been reading all your messages after a bad day and feel better all ready just knowing other mums feel the same way makes me feel more normal i too have tried ads 3 x but i had funny reaction so i won't take them now and i have tried hypnotherapy and reiki! but i still feel blue i started to feel worse after my 2nd child but i also have had marriage breakup and problems with my current partner which i feel contributed. i was thinking about counselling as i find it hard to talk to my partner and i feel my family doesn't fully understand how i feel it's hard to explain to your own mum that you don't just feel a bit fed up it's ongoing and up and down. i feel worse when i shout at my kids but i feel like i can't cope on bad days with their naughtiness like i need my own space. some good advice on here thanks

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