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How to help my cousin?

(3 Posts)
sparklynorthernstar Thu 23-Dec-04 09:12:53

Mr cousin miscarried her baby on Wednesday. This is the second miscarriage she has had. She was already suffering with PND (her dd2 has just turned 1) and now she does not see the point in carrying on. She wants to cancel Christmas and does not wnat any visitors or any presents for her dd's. We have 5 Aunties who all mean well but think she should pull her self together and do Christmas for the sake of her dd's who are 4 and 1. She's recently moved back to the town we were born in and doesn't have any real friends as yet and is surrounded by our somewhat overbearing family.
I don't live near to her now, but ovbiously want to support her however I can. I am visiting my parents on boxing day so will have the opportunity to visit her then.

When my Aunt (her Mum) was telling my Mum all about this yesterday she said not to ring her as she does not want to speak to anyone.

What should I do? Should I ring her? If I send her a card/flowers she won't get it before christmas or should I just go and see her on boxing day and do I take the presents I have for her dd's?

Any advice appreciated.

nailpolish Thu 23-Dec-04 09:28:40

omg thats awful. i dont blame her for wanting to cancel christmas. her dd's are so young they probably wouldnt really be too upset if its a low key affair this year, would they?

if i was you i would phone her. you can always ask her if she wants the gifts, or i would take them anyway and leave them in the car til you go in and see her.

if you call a flower shop near her (that has interflora) they may well deliver today or tomorrow, if you give them credit cards details by phone, ive done that myself in the past.

i dont think there would be much you could say to her, but maybe if when you do go round she would just appreciate someone to talk to, and do bits and pieces around the house for her, or play with her dd's


EbenyZebraScrooge Thu 23-Dec-04 10:06:37

Would cancelling Xmas for the 4yo make her (the 4yo) feel like she was being punished because she's alive and the embryo didn't make it?
I honestly think she should send the 4yo to a celebrate Xmas at a relative's house.
But I guess you can't do anything other than visit (not bearing gifts).

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