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Mental health

fat and can't stop eating because I'm having to spend 4 days with slim slinky in-laws!

18 replies

color · 21/12/2004 14:40

HELP!

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color · 21/12/2004 14:43

instead of encouraging me to get fitter and loose weight, it always makes me start eating eating eating and I'm in the same rut again why?!!! Feeling soooooo down.

trying to think of our lovely children but still feel soooooooo down

thinking how lucky I am in many ways but why is it their lives seem so contended everything seems to work out for them and then there is me

OP posts:

spacedonkey · 21/12/2004 14:45

Sorry you're feeling down color

fostermum · 21/12/2004 15:31

i send you my biggest hugs my out-laws are slim,rich,and posh,all the things im not and they impress this on me every time i see them

vict17 · 21/12/2004 16:21

refuse to go

color · 21/12/2004 17:21

vict17 if only you knew! I get out of these family gatherings so many times but failed miserably this time and don't wish to upset dh any further. Thought I would cope but it's just got me feeling so low. Having to grin and bear it. Trouble is it's like fostermother said slim posh and let you know it. It's always me spending dh money as I'm a SAHM but it just doesn't seem to apply to them as they already had money, not that I ever saw their bank balances or vice versa. Then the slim bit is lots of little things. Educationally I'm below them too as I went to a comprehensive and didn't do Latin etc etc. Can only speak minimum amount of French or any other language. They always seem to know all the classics too and of course if I tried to catch up I'd get all muddled anyway and make a fool of myself as I have done in the past or if I talk about some book I know then they don't join in etc etc it's as if it's of only very minor importance compared to what they know. Oh and I hate all the kissy kissy false greetings oh how I could go on and on and on and bore every MN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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EbenyZebraScrooge · 21/12/2004 17:23

You are not less than them, Color. Keep telling yourself that until you believe it. Being educated or even clever does not make a person a more worthwhile human being.

fostermum · 21/12/2004 17:39

hay color never feel bad about lack of schooling i left school at 10yrs old as i nursed my mom and we where in a different country, so education wise i missed out but i know a lot more about lots of things which ive learned from the school of life,when they are haveing thier little digs imagine them sitting on the loo,some how it makes us all equal

JaNgLyBELLS · 21/12/2004 17:59

You don't know what is beneath the surface, anyway. Chances are things aren't all sweetness and light. And being too slim isn't healthy - they may be thin because they bottle a lot of stress up. A bit of fat is protective, too.

pregnant woman standing on scales

Weight gain in pregnancy

Weight gain during pregnancy is one of life's certainties, but studies show that many women don't know how much weight they should be putting on – and could be putting themselves and their baby at risk

JaNgLyBELLS · 21/12/2004 18:00

And you've given them lovely grandchildren! Don't forget that.

posyhairdresser · 21/12/2004 18:01

All is never as it seems, color

Thecattlearemerloting · 21/12/2004 18:07

Know the feeling well > Every time I see my MIL she always makes a fuss about how her size 12 tummy is Sooooo fat! Given that I'm a good size 16, this is very tactless!

Have taken to saying - well its good to carry a bit of extra weight at your age, otherwise you can look Sooooo old!! (Mieow)

color · 22/12/2004 11:14

just want to say thank you to everyone for your encouragement and understanding. Will try to grin and bear it as the saying goes!

Posyhairdresser (love the nickname ) I often try to focus on "all not being as it seems" but then it doesn't seem otherwise when you keep hearing how they have just been on holiday here there everywhere, how their children are sooooo clever (all at private school of course) and anything I mention about our children (dh never bothers much) just seems to get passed over like they pass over me. Sure they make a fuss of the children but sometimes it seems they make little snide comments too especially at the table as our children wont eat everything and anything if they don't like the look of it and happen to be hungry at other times as they didn't get enough to eat at mealtimes then it's sure that it's commented on and little ones don't know how to say nothing. I have to take things for them to eat when we can get away. Now they are a bit older I try not to but if they are hungry they are hungry. So now I plan to take lots of food they like to eat so that I can just cater for them myself this time when they are still hungry after the elaborate meals with food not suitable for younger children and with sauces that are tasteless and children don't want so have to leave and therefore leave them feeling hungry and dissatisfied. I'm now planning just to ignore the comments, as I never rise to them very well anyway.

SO if any of my SIL/BIL wives happen to be reading this watch out for the new me who is planning not to give a xxxx and... sorry I'll stop boring anyone who bothers to read this now! Bother will probably have to change my nickname again now!!!

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Rogue · 22/12/2004 11:20

color ppl should accept you for being you im pretty fat myself but i have dropped down from a size 24/26 to 18/20 in the last 2 years and nobody has even bothered to say anything. just hold your head up high and be you.
ppl will respect you for it.

color · 22/12/2004 11:27

Rogue - gosh! now need to start another thread how did you manage to do it? I try so many times and just keep failing.. failing... failing. Well done I'm soooo envious of you sorry but I am!

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color · 22/12/2004 11:28

sorry meant to add guess it was willpower which just seemed to diminish from me every year and now don't seem to have one ounce left

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Rogue · 22/12/2004 11:30

aww color sorry....its not easy but i had no choice... if ppl call you fat say yeah and your ugly but i can sort my problem out when i want to ...what are you going to do....and loosing weight has its disadvantages....have to get new clothes and you have a kangaroo pouch as my dd1 says ...

Rogue · 22/12/2004 11:34

not will power at all either it was a case of i have major problems with my hips and may need a replacement i did a walk of 14 miles with dd1 last year and most of it my hip was semi dislocated but carried on coz it was raising money for selective mutisum reserch. doing it again this year come with me on it.

color · 22/12/2004 17:31

sorry to hear about your hip, how long did 14 miles take to complete Rogue? Plus I've not heard of that research is it a national walk? I've been trying to walk 10,000 steps idea but with the children and all the committments that entails just slipped right out of it again and feeling it in myself so quickly again.

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