My past still affects me

[funinthesun19]

I came out of a really bad relationship last year. And a year on I’m still trying to recover from it all. I feel like because I’m not in that situation anymore, I’m having a come down from it where I’m reflecting on EVERYTHING. I go from angry, to sad, I feel nervous all the time and then I feel completely empty.
And also strangely enough, I miss the good times we had too. I think back to 10 years ago and get a sinking feeling. Then I think about all the bad things I went through and I also get a sinking feeling. It’s just shit.

Don’t get me wrong I have good days and I’m hopeful for the future, but covid hasn’t helped me with moving forward at all. I just feel.... lost.

Also, I had an abortion 3 years ago around this time of year. It’s not at the front of my mind anymore, but it’s always there if you get me. Like a dark cloud lingering. This time of year always gets to me.

I don’t even know why I’m posting. Just to talk really.

[Orangecake123]

You've been through a lot so try to go easy on yourself OP and well done for leaving a bad relationship. Something like that is traumatic and would take time to heal. I can understand feeling lost and looking back can be painful. Maybe make a list of all the ways you've grown because of the past few years.

Do you have any friends in real life you can call. If you're in the UK there is this charity who offer free counselling:

lifecharity.org.uk/had-an-abortion/

Can you make a list of small things you can look

[Orangecake123]

forward to everyday. It's easy to think we have to be busy but try to make sure you get a lot of rest too.