Hi all.
Just after some insight/advice. I have always struggled with my mental health. I developed anorexia at age 14 and battled for 18 years, making what I would say is a full recovery when I finally had my daughter.
However, I have struggled with bouts of depression and panic attacks that are really impacting my life. Recently, a family death has triggered some past things that I honestly hadn’t remembered and suddenly my life feels like it is falling apart. I have no clue who I am anymore...I am struggling to get through each day and to stay grounded. I’m experiencing really awful flashbacks and nightmares and I’m just generally struggling to cope. I am now on medication and am having counselling but I just don’t feel like I can get any control over my life. The only thing that helps me to stay grounded and as if I have any control over my life is to push myself so hard it hurts when I exercise and also to feel hunger. I feel like I’m real if I hurt or am hungry. I’m restricting my food intake to 1 meal each day and have upped my exercise levels. This is helping me emotionally more than anything else I try.
I wouldn’t say I’m anorexic again because this time it’s a choice and I’m in control of it.
Is this a dangerous line to tread or can this strategy work as a temporary coping mechanism until I find another way to gain control. Right now pain and hunger is all that works...
Btw I am aware how deadly anorexia is and in no way mean to be disrespectful of those who suffer...ive been there and I honestly know the hell that it is... but honestly right now, death does not scare me at all. The only reason I am keeping going is for my children. I can’t really describe fully the mental pain I feel and hunger and pain are al that will help to make it stop....
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Mental health
To use my previous anorexia to cope for now.
36 replies
Honestadviceneeded · 28/10/2020 12:33
OP posts:
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