social anxiety at work..as a MH nurse

[penguin81]

I've been struggling with anxiety for years now, sometimes worse than others.
I have a massive case if imposter syndrome and that I will be found out..I am not great at retaining information which validates how I am feeling, and feel I have no right to be in my team
I get very panicky before hangovers, take beta blockers for this, bit is ineffective. I cant relax, and if I didn't write everything down my kind would be blank.
If I give my opinion on something and someone disagrees, I feel that it's not then validated..o feel I am just winging it, and am terrified others will see I'm anxious, but it's pretty obvious..this terrifies me, as well as others finding out I'm incompetent
I have had CBT for this and take sertraline, but it's not helping now
has anybody been in this situation? am looking for ways to manage this if possible
Thank you in advance

[penguin81]

*sorry, before hand overs:)

[Lilliput]

Oh I totally get you!
I also work in healthcare and go through terrible anxiety/confidence crises.

[Lilliput]

I find that colleagues are very quick to criticise other practice so it then makes me paranoid about what they think of my clinical practice. Does that make sense? That really feeds my anxiety.

[penguin81]

definitely..struggle to make decisions at the best of times, and worry about how colleagues perceive my actions. There are some that are lovely and supportive, but I gave it in my head that they are just being kind

[Lilliput]

Do you have a clinical supervisor you can talk to?

[penguin81]

it sounds silly, but I'd rather work didn't know how I was feeling, and really try (badly, I think!) to hide it
How do you manage? Does clinical supervision help you in this way? Sorry you're feeling the same!

[Lilliput]

I ask about the clinical supervision because I'm a clinical supervisor
My anxiety waxes and wanes. It tends to get bad when clinical outcomes don't go to plan. I get paranoid I've missed something.
I do have a couple of good colleagues to talk to which helps.

[Lilliput]

Clinical supervision is confidential as is speaking to occupational health.

[penguin81]

😂 Discussing it supervision might be helpful, although my supervisor is present when I hand over sometimes, when I try my best not to let me anxiety show (I'm sure it does!) I do like the sound of occupational health, I might contact them:)
I guess it's good to get reassurance and perspective from colleagues, which must be a godsend if you are second guessing yourself

[bunsen]

Have you recently moved jobs, department or have taken on new responsibilities, skills or qualifications? Are you working with a new bunch of people? Basically is there a life event that has made your anxiety worse? Perhaps allowing yourself to be imperfect at least in your head ( I can imagine not practical around patients) you are not supposed to be perfect or know everything. Sorry you feel this way. I often do too so know just how it feels. Imposter syndrome happens to anyone with a conscience you are not healthy brained if you don't question yourself (in moderation)

[penguin81]

I've been at my job for a few years now, withvmuch of the same people, so is strange! I listen to others hand over/ talk about patients so articulately, and cant help but compare myself. I feel I am second guessing myself with every decision. the anxiety is sometimes worse after night shifts, and ger more anxious the more people come in for handover. though the feelings of inadequacy are always there..I dont like attending meetings for the same reason, and always have to refer back to notes throughout instead of from my head. Thank you for your replies xx