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My friend committed suicide

(42 Posts)

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Leo89 Sun 23-Aug-20 18:02:26

Hello everyone,
I had the shock today of finding out a close friend of mine had killed themselves, after a horrific break up last year. Myself and her both broke up with our fiancées, cancelled weddings, sold our homes and had quite brutal break ups with ex’s who moved on in just a few weeks, plastering their love online for everyone to see. I met her last week and she and me had always had a pact that we’d be there for eachother.

The news really has shook my world. I can’t eat, I just cry. I can’t believe it.

OP’s posts: |
sleepismysuperpower1 Sun 23-Aug-20 18:21:02

I am so, so sorry. Here offing a handhold flowers

Timeforabiscuit Sun 23-Aug-20 18:22:23

I am so sorry, that's absolutely heartbreaking.

Whenwillow Sun 23-Aug-20 18:22:49

I'm so, so sorry to read this. Sending love and another handhold xx

Justnormajean Sun 23-Aug-20 18:25:24

I’m so sorry to read this.
When you are ready this organisation may be able to help.
uksobs.org/

Lemming20 Sun 23-Aug-20 18:27:56

So so sorry to read. Holding your hand x

DowntonCrabby Sun 23-Aug-20 18:29:46

Oh @Leo89 I’m so sorry to read this. How devastating for you.

Please be kind to yourself and reach out to family, friends, support services and on MN. flowersflowers

Scbchl Sun 23-Aug-20 18:29:59

I'm so sorry op. I know how hard it is. You will go through such a range of emotions. I never thought I'd feel normal again or get over it. But I did, you learn to live with the grief. We are 1.5 years down the line now and still get upset but it's not all consuming so please know this will be the same for you too. Do you have family and friends supporting you through this sad time?

mumofthreewhatsfortea Sun 23-Aug-20 18:30:00

Thinking of you x

Leo89 Sun 23-Aug-20 18:33:34

Thank you @Justnormajean I will look at this page

OP’s posts: |
Leo89 Sun 23-Aug-20 18:35:09

@Scbchl yes I do smile. I’d spoken to her every day, but can’t help tht I missed something. She’d post the happiest stuff, all smiles and hugging and kissing her new man. I just can’t get how we all missed it

OP’s posts: |
Eliphanbee Sun 23-Aug-20 18:35:09

I'm so sorry to hear this. Sending love to you xxx

Potteringdawn Sun 23-Aug-20 18:36:30

What a terrible shock for you- I am so sorry, your friend must have been in such pain and will be free of that now flowers

MeatballSpaghetti Sun 23-Aug-20 18:38:27

Shit. I'm so very sorry, OP. flowers

022828MAN Sun 23-Aug-20 18:44:28

Gosh how awful, OP. I can't offer any real advice but we're all here for you if you need to just talk. Have you got some support at home?

Leo89 Sun 23-Aug-20 18:54:00

@022828MAN yes I do have some support. I live far from home as I relocated to London for my ex many years ago. So I have spoken to my mum a lot on the phone. She is so worried about me too with my break up, that this has just emphasised it. We’re all in such shock.

I’m just so sad we all missed it as 2 days ago she had a very loved up picture with her current partner at a bbq

OP’s posts: |
022828MAN Sun 23-Aug-20 18:57:34

I can't even imagine what you must be going through, especially being far from home and during lockdown restrictions too.
Please keep in touch on here, there's always someone around any time of day. Are you working tomorrow?

Leo89 Sun 23-Aug-20 19:01:07

@022828MAN thank you. It’s very hard that she felt so horrific. She looked so happy & never let anyone know she was so low. I’m a teacher so on summer holidays, the stress of schools doesn’t help!. I’m meeting a friend for breakfast tomorrow which will be nice

OP’s posts: |
Smil3 Sun 23-Aug-20 19:02:01

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my best friend to suicide 12 years ago this month and although the pain and sadness never goes you will find it eases with time. My friend had a daughter and a long term partner, she had tried to take her life a couple of times previous then she managed it, the only way reason it in my head that she is no longer in pain and hopefully at peace. I know this is little consolation but lean on those around you to support you in this horrible time

022828MAN Sun 23-Aug-20 19:03:56

Leo89

*@022828MAN* thank you. It’s very hard that she felt so horrific. She looked so happy & never let anyone know she was so low. I’m a teacher so on summer holidays, the stress of schools doesn’t help!. I’m meeting a friend for breakfast tomorrow which will be nice

I'm glad to hear you've got a friend you can call on to see tomorrow and no work pressure on you, just yet anyway. I'll be thinking of you OP 💕

SummerHouse Sun 23-Aug-20 19:05:07

There is no rhyme or reason. You will go in circles trying to find it but it's not there. There are 1000 "what if's". There is nothing you could have done. It's just so final and utterly devastating. So sorry OP. I know it will get easier for you but I can't come up with anything to say that helps right now. Apart from to remember the positive. Talk to people about what she brought to your life and you to hers. Remember the times you laughed till you cried. And the times you supported each other. Regret will always be there but don't let it cloud over the good times. They happened. It can't have those.

Leo89 Sun 23-Aug-20 19:08:49

@SummerHouse thank you x that’s really lovely.

OP’s posts: |
MrsCremuel Sun 23-Aug-20 19:13:05

So sorry OP, it's an awful awful thing. Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide or 'SOBS' were very helpful for me when my brother took his life. Look after yourself.xxx

HebeMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 23-Aug-20 19:14:41

So sorry to hear about this, OP. flowers. Do feel free to post on our bereavement topic, too, if you feel like it. There are lots of people there who've been through this and will have really good advice and support.

Bluetrews25 Sun 23-Aug-20 19:22:02

Big hug to you, Leo.
flowers

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