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I cant say if this is normal?

(9 Posts)
mummyofpeanut Sun 23-Aug-20 17:12:29


I have a 3.5 yr old and an 8month old. With my first i had some sort of depression and extreme worry about leaving my baby somebody might harm him deep down i know it is irrational and I have very supportive DH. It toned down a lot and eventually faded away now my DS is in nursery and got my time.
With my DD now 8month old I didnt really have that depressing feelings I guess its experience that made me confident and positive as a mother.

But still something strange- I cant bear reading about anything on the news related to harm to a child, minor etc if i read them I visualise them over and over in my head having brief crying episodes etc. Say whatever like war, immigrant crisis, natural tragedies everything i hear i think about the babies the children and i get upset.

Now it is at the point that I cant even watch "one born every minute" it doesnt make sense. All the time its a good story of baby being born but it kind of gives me an anxiety of something going wrong.. even positive videos that I know its ok!
However, im overjoyed over videos and visit of babies I personally know. I have signed out of facebook and instagram because of this (if i see a laughing babies video, reccommended video might be different and it scares me that i might click something about a sad news)
Do all of you mums feel this?? Or is something very wrong with me??
I go through extremely sad days emotionally and sometimes i conclude i cant do much about all the bad things happening to children in the world and i dont want to exist in that world. I dont know, it just spirals a lot in my head.

Thanks for reading through this.

OP’s posts: |
mummyofpeanut Mon 24-Aug-20 12:07:48

Anyone please? Is it what i am feeling is normal? Tell me you feel this too? ☹️ and will it pass?

OP’s posts: |
Nolooker Tue 25-Aug-20 15:52:04

I’m not a mum , but you may what to speak to your gp about this .It could be a form of anxiety /depression.

mummyofpeanut Tue 25-Aug-20 16:11:54

I may eventually have to go to gp dont I? sad I really feel so sad

OP’s posts: |
Goodmum1234 Tue 25-Aug-20 20:11:53

I think it needs talking through with a professional as it’s not nice for you to gave those worries.
I haven’t had those specific worries but just wanted to let you know that had severe pnd with dd1, 4 years later dd2 arrived with no sign of pnd. I was overjoyed. When she was 15 months old however, depression hit me like a truck and I needed lots of cbt again. Good luck and look after yourself. You and your children deserve it x

mummyofpeanut Wed 26-Aug-20 11:28:54

Thank you. I will try to talk a professional but feeling scared of the whole idea of it.

When DS was born I was feeling down and had depressing thoughts but it never affected me bonding with the baby so I figured i may be having just "baby blues". I was surrounded by loving family yet i felt really alone and felt everyone's eyes on me checking whether I am adequate mother(irrational for sure!). It went on for more than a year eventually just going off (or so i think).
When DD was born, I DIDNT have any of those thoughts but this feeling just lingered (ex.cant watch baby videos unless someone assure me its ok)

DH checks on me every now and then to see if i am ok but i am mortified to admit to anyone I feel like this.

2 days before we were beginning to watch a documentary on opioid crisis in the US and I got up and went to bed as soon as I figured it might show at some point a child affected by addiction 😞

I am so sorry this is a downer post really.

OP’s posts: |
user1471441839 Wed 26-Aug-20 14:43:13

What you're feeling is more common than other mums admit to. I am a mum of 2, the youngest is 8 and since they were born I get preoccupied with news stories where children have been hurt. It becomes unbearable sometimes and I have to distract myself. I think it's part of being a mum especially if you are prone to anxiety which I am. These thoughts and feelings aren't abnormal but I think they are a reaction to bad things that happen in the world. You aren't going mad or anything but it's something you need to keep a check on. Talk to friends, avoid the news. share your thoughts on here. And remember you aren't the only mum who feels like this.

mummyofpeanut Wed 26-Aug-20 16:40:00

Yes, i do have social anxiety but it never occurred to me they could be connected as well.
I wont wish it on any mum but it does make me feel better that i am not alone. The mum group that I go to all say they have depression and have pnd but what they say seems very mild and I felt like i am the only one going through horrible thoughts ☹️. I probably only met this one mum who couldnt really face being with other mums she quit coming.
Maybe they all are pretending and scared of being judged inside

OP’s posts: |
Theodoreb Wed 26-Aug-20 17:06:11

I feel exactly the same I have bipolar and I don't watch news or real life tv shows (by this I mean things like eastenders) I only watch sci fi and fantasy things which I know are safe. It's so hard.

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