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Coping with criticism.

(5 Posts)
wheresmyhairytoe Sat 22-Aug-20 11:19:43

How do you deal with criticism? I'm very anxious, on Sertraline for it, I'm peri menopausal so that's not helping.
Yesterday my boss had a moan at me for a decision I made which I know was the right one but she didn't agree. She's very nit picky but I take it all to heart. I locked myself in the loo after and had a cry but I've been going over and over it in my head since.

I just can't let things go, any criticism however slight gets me into an anxious mess, my brain won't let me forget stuff and it's exhausting.

She'd sent me a wattsap about something the other week and I didn't sleep for 2 nights stressing about it then had a panic attack at work when I was next in.

I'm worse when my period is due but I feel like I'm useless and worthless and just playing at being a grown up with a responsible job.

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Craftycorvid Sat 22-Aug-20 11:23:41

Are you anxious generally or more in certain places/with certain people? On the face of it, your bosses’ behaviour sounds potentially bullying.

wheresmyhairytoe Sat 22-Aug-20 11:27:16

I'm generally anxious, had a very stressful few years with my DS's SEN and mental health and now all is calm I've hit a wall.

I'm worse at work. She's a strong personality, I'm a people pleaser, we have very different styles of management. She's told me before I'm too nice to people, most people think she's a bitch. A few years ago I would let it wash over me but now I can't so I know it's my mental health that's the issue.

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Yogatomorrow Sat 22-Aug-20 12:21:41

I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. I can't deal with criticism either. I am still going through my head a silly comment made by someone last week over nothing. I'd have a strong reaction like you if my boss was as a tough as yours.

I know that trying to forget about it is impossible. So sorry if these suggestions sound trite, but this is how I would try to sort things out in my head:

Distraction: I use podcasts all the time so that I don't have the silence to ruminate constantly. A binge-worthy netflix drama can also work as well.

Writing or typing things out. Watching the spiralling thoughts can give me the detachment that is the aim of mindfulness. I find it can really reduce anxiety.

Taking positive steps to try to address the root of the situation. Can you look for a new job, move sideways in your company, approach her or HR to resolve any tension? Sometimes even writing a letter of resignation (never to be sent) has helped me feel more in control at work.

Do some exercise to help you sleep. Your resilience sounds down anyway and it will be worse with less sleep. I use exercise to help knock me out when I know my mind would keep me up.

Don't think you're useless, because you're not. It's just a shitty situation that you are in and these pop up for all people at some stage.

I hope that you get some peace in your mind.

wheresmyhairytoe Sat 22-Aug-20 12:30:46

Thank you. Yes I need to keep my mind busy as the silence just makes my brain go into overdrive. Just tried to have a relaxing bath and broke down as my mind went crazy in the silence, I can't sleep for the same reason.

I need to exercise more, it's finding the motivation as I'm so tired, vicious circle isn't it!

I love my job, apart from dealing with her! Sometimes she's great and we get on well, others she drives me mad! I know it's probably me being too sensitive, just wish I could toughen up mentally 😢

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