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Am I cursed or just born to be miserable?(8 Posts)
Hello. I am a 26-year-old girl who feels completely alone, devastated, exhausted, and unwilling to fight anymore. Please, don't judge or insult me. This is the last thing I need since I try my best to fight and heal my invisible wounds. I'm a believer who lives neither in America, nor in England, nor in a country where there are Protestant churches. Not that I hide my country but I just prefer not to go into such details. However, thanks to the Internet, I started following profiles of Christians in Social media - people who inspire me with wisdom and their life. Unfortunately, due to many reasons and obstacles in my life, I will never be able to live abroad and experience such type of life. And this weighs on me too.
However, the reason I turned to you for valuable advice, even though I go to therapy, is because I always believed that you are a great source of support, lack of judgment, and a shoulder to lean on.
I know that no one has a perfect life and everyone has problems. But I feel like my problems are endless and I will never be truly happy. I had many problems with my appearance, health, and life in the past that I managed to overcome by myself. BUT my biggest problem that terrifies me is that I am 26 years old and I will never find the right person and true love. Boys always preferred someone else instead of me and they almost never been interested in me, although my friends say that I have a great character and I am beautiful. All my friends already have long and happy relationships, and so far, I've only had one. While looking in the profiles of Christians in social media, I often see how they define themselves ''blessed and happy people without big problems, to whom God often sends miracles'' They find the love of their lives in a unique way in their early 20s. They build big and happy religious families, which we often see in beautiful photo sessions. They have many amazing and loyal friends.
And although I know comparison is bad, I can't help but take a look at my life. I am 26 years old and so far, I have only had one relationship. There is no prospect of meeting the right person anymore, because the places where people meet their loved ones, are impossible for me. I graduated from college, there are no men in my work, and I have 2 girlfriends who also don't go out in big companies. I don't think I've done anything so bad in my life, nor am I a bad person, and I really don't know why nothing good happens in my life. I also pray to meet the love of my life, to have a strong and happy family, but unlike believers in social media, miracles don't happen to me. On the contrary - I'm alone and I don't think I ever have a chance to meet the right person. My parents are not interested in me, my dreams are shattered ...
All these years, I have struggled with my problems and unhappiness all by myself, but now it really becomes too difficult and I can't stand it, I don't find meaning in life.... I even start thinking that I'm cursed or born to be alone and unhappy, while so many people around the world, especially my age ALREADY have wonderful families and a happy life full of miracles. Please, from the bottom of my heart, I go to therapy, but I would love for you to give me a piece of advice or just an opinion, because I really feel shattered, exhausted, and I can't anymore ...
I’m sorry I don’t have much advice. Someone will be along shortly with a better response than mine.
But you are young and have worked hard on overcoming your issues which is a big achievement. There is plenty of happiness for you to find and experience yet.
Many people feel like this when all they want is a special someone but you have so much time to find someone if you can just work on being content and happy on your own in the meantime. You are certainly not cursed.
Just checking in. How are you doing?
Could you take this post to therapy and read it out to your therapist? I know it's so hard, but there comes a point when we need to reign in our tendency to compare ourselves with others. Whatever anyone says, there is no way you can know anyone else's full history or the daily reality of their lives, therefore what is there possibly to compare. I really hope that you continue with therapy and continue learning about yourself. Good luck.
Comparison is the thief of joy, OP. Spend less time on the Internet and more time out in the real world.
I think you need to count your blessings a bit. I saw an inscription on a park bench the other day, which read, 'A life unlived is a rejection of the most precious gift.' The quote was attributed to a young man who'd died aged 25. Live the life you've got, rather than the life you wish you had, and live it to the best of your ability. You've undoubtedly been dealt a much more favourable hand than many.
If you want to receive in life, you should give what you have.
So give your time, your love, your skills; take a risk on relationships, new endeavours. Be the organiser - whether its a youth club, a hobby, a community group, whatever. But make sure that these things will bring you into mixed company if it is a partner that you want to find.
You need to get out into the real world, spend less time online, and find people with common interests. By doing useful stuff for others and alongside others you will be rewarded :-)
Thank you so much, you are SO kind! I am different every day - that bad and miserable feeling is deep inside of me and some days, I just feel a bit less miserable while others - it gets really difficult... Because I keep thinking to myself "I never wanted money, luxury or something like this that LOTS of people want and even get easier that I do. And all I want is to have a strong family with a faithful and loyal husband and I still haven't find one no matter how much I want and pray for it WHILE there are so many pages of people that say that they have never even wanted a husband that much and God blessed them with the best man ever they met like a miracle" ...
And I also go out but boys are almost never
interested and attracted in me .. it's always been some girls before me.. and honestly, if it was 1-2 times, okay, but it's almost every time while I am in a company with guys...and i get really tired and it's really painful as if I am cursed to never feel real love or I must be the ugliest girl ever...
God is not going to send a lovely young man to your door! Go out and live your life and you'll be all the more attractive and happy for it. You need to interact with people in person.
In life you make your own weather... Anyway nice guys want people they can do interesting stuff with and have a laugh.
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