Do you think a therapist could help me?

[Startofsomethingnew20]

I’ve been thinking about therapy my quite a few years. My local GP surgery was able to refer me for 6 sessions but they were not therapy, more guided self help. They didn’t really help and we were only able to focus on one thing (self esteem).

I have huge issues going back to childhood in relation to body image, food in general, history of eating disorders, very low self esteem and confidence etc. Suffered bullying more than once amongst other things. Another thing that was an issue in my life was that we were not allowed to share any of the family’s business with anyone outside of it. Everything needed to remain a secret (even from close friends). I have never felt able to confide in anyone as it was never really allowed as a child/teen. Even now as an adult, I feel the same way and cannot being myself to trust anyone. (My friends of many years know nothing about me beyond the surface stuff and always just me as the ‘happy’ friend). Even now I literally couldn’t bring myself to tell them any of this for fear of being judged and talked about etc.

I think I need therapy to help me unpick all of this. I am willing to go private to find the right one but part of me feels it’s a waste of money as I’m not worth spending all that money on and if I can’t open up to them and be honest, I won’t be able to move forwards.

Sorry for the rambling, things have some to a bit of a head this weekend and I needed to tell someone what’s going on in my head.

[GreenPop]

Firstly you’re absolutely worth spending the money on! That’s the trouble with low self esteem.
Why don’t you meet with a few therapists (I imagine some may only be online atm) and see if you gel with anyone in particular. The right therapist really is key.

[July56]

I think therapy would help and even the talking therapy you were offered would be a benefit but 6 sessions is not enough. I’ve tried counselling 3 times in the last year (2 with the same counsellor). If it’s going to help then you have to be honest and very open which is very difficult. It took 3 attempts for me to be able to do that. My counselling is by telephone due to covid and I actually think that has made being open much easier. Not being able to see the other person has meant I’ve been able to tell her some of the stuff that’s being going round in my head.
It maybe that you have to try different counsellors to find one you trust which is important.
Like you I have self esteem problems, I’m very hard on myself but I’ve got to the point where I don’t want to live like this anymore.
You may find you go round in circles a lot but that’s ok as eventually you find an understanding of why you feel/act like you do.
You are absolutely worth spending the money on and hopefully the counselling will help you see that x

[Startofsomethingnew20]

Thank you both for your kind words. I’ve emailed a couple of therapists today so will see what happens!