Again, I'm sorry that this is the wrong place but I genuinely don't know what else to do.
I've always had anxiety issues, never been to see a doctor about it but I'm just always so worried. Worried that I've upset someone. Worried about money. Worried about other people.
Tonight my friend ignored my messages (she is a lot older than me, I'm 18, she's 35) and although I didn't really say anything that would annoy someone this always the conclusion that I jump to and it's happened countless times with the same person. Before, she's always replied later and apologised, saying that she was busy doing something and forgot to reply (she's a mum of 4 and works full time). But this time she still hasn't.
Tonight for the first time I've myself physically sick because I'm that worried and I'm really not sure this is normal?
Just before my 18th birthday in March, my head was in such a bad place that I ended up using a suicide helpline so that I didn't top myself. When I'm on my own all I ever want to do is cry.
The morning after this I went to see my sister and told her (she has had anorexia, brought on by anxiety and depression so she knows how I feel) and she said it was time I opened up to my parents about it so took me home. I was going to get a doctors appointment after that but I would only go if my mum agreed to go with me but her and my stepdad said they didn't think I needed a doctor and that I just need the support of my family.
I haven't been suicidal since then which I suppose is good and sometimes the anxiety isn't there at all, and sometimes it is.
Now I'm scared to scared to say anything to my Mum as she said if I tried to tell her I was depressed again she'd punch me in the face (pretty sure she was exaggerating there).
I'm trying my best but tonight it's getting to the point where I feel like I'm running out of options and no-one can help me.
I can't see any of my friends as at the moment they're all working and I'm not allowed in (I don't have any friends outside of work).
Can someone help me please because I'm genuinely petrified and I don't know what to do
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Mental health
Not sure wether I'm mentally ill or if I just over-worry
31 replies
Kyle19 · 19/07/2020 21:48
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