Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice.
This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
HA house driving me to the brink(10 Posts)
Im in a housing Association flat ( yes i know im very lucky bla bla bla)
but ive been trying to mutual exchange out of it for over 2 years because im here with 2 toddlers ( 2 & 1 ) and not a single friend or family member near me ...
I would private rent but good luck to me without a grand to put down and a guarantor or a job that earns 36x the rent.
my flat is too small, im stuck here with no one and i want out.
my flat has too many restrictions which means no one wants it.
i dont even care where i go if its a house because at least i can then exchange out of it easier. : /
I have a section 106 ( need a local connection to the area to move into it) i have no garden, no pets allowed, no storage, on a massive main road, 2 juliet balconies that people with kids seem to hate when they view have had 8 people view and not 1 of them have taken it as reasons above.
I feel myself breaking as everyday i am looking and messaging and cleaning for viewers and then its always a no ...
I cant have my tv on the wall and the kids have so far broken 2 smart tvs so i no longer keep a tv. the kitchen and living room is open plan but i cant gate off the kitchen as the gates just come straight out of the wall so when im cooking i have to stay in there fluffing away my kids from the oven or trying to stop them opening the freezer/fridge/cupboards/oven/washing machine etc etc ..
Im over it
Oh also my house is by a load of trees which mean if i keep my windows open then my house get infested with flies and spiders.
The TV and the stairgate are not really issues with the property itself. Do you really need to move to be able to properly fix a stair gate and have a TV?
I work in housing so I know what's it's like to have one great thing (affordable rent) while putting up with a lot of other not-ideal things. And yes, people expect you to be grateful.
My advice is to scatter bomb. Look at every way to improve things and do them all. Most won't work out but whatever.
Research different baby gates and ways to get a TV out of the way. I got a fireman friend to scare the crap out of DD to stop her touching the cooker.
Look at ways to up your income or study to eventually get a job to save for a deposit and private rent if you want.
Look at other housing associations and providers in your area. Yes, you probably won't be housed because you already are. But you definitely won't if you don't look.
Make the most of the local area so that you find places that work for you. No garden means no gardening which is great. Let parks do the job.
The balconies. What is it about them that people don't like?
Also, bear in mind that 1 and 2 is hell times with children. Every space is small and it's always tough. Things will improve even if you have to stay put.
thank you : ) i will take those tips.
unfortunately the thing with the tv and stairgate is just that the walls ont allow for anything to be nailed into them as they just fall out, had a proffessional sent out and he couldnt find any studs
We have up a secure tenancy for private rent due so bad area with drug problems etc. I could cry when I think of waste of cash on private rental and stress off lack of security.
I agree your children's ages probably make it feel rough but they will grow. Realistically TVs on wall is fairly recent. People did manage when that wasn't a possibility, one eighties films make references to today in VHS machine etc. Would a playpen be useful? You can put your delicate items in rather than children if you prefer.
I owned a home when dd was little and had walls as you describe, we used a tv stand and had stair gates that used pressure between two points instead of being screwed in?
They are quite common and very nice when you finally get to take them off.
I don't think you will be able to find many houses that are actually able to secure a TV on the wall. We live in a new build and the walls are so thin even putting in a curtain pole proved difficult! Also, if we leave the windows open we get flies and spiders in. That is just part of life.
I definitely agree that you need a play pen for cooking etc. How did the kids break the TVs?! These are all issues that you would have in any home, kids following you into the kitchen etc.
I bought some of those velcro nets for windows after two massive spiders came in a couple of weeks ago. Pretty cheap and now I can leave windows open with no unwanted visitors
Op is sounds as if lots of these are common issues but they are getting bigger and bigger in your mind because you're unhappy.
To lots of people, being surrounded by trees would be amazing. Greenery is proven to be good for mental health and surely better than backing into a noisy factory, for example?
We didn't have wall mounted TVs growing up and we managed ok?
Loads of houses can't have TVs on walls.... if you have a laptop maybe look for a cheap projector ?
Please login first.