DD 9 days old - am feeling sooooooooooooo down - help me, I hate this.

[Hopeitwontbebig]

I had my 3rd baby 9 days ago, she's perfect. I already have 2 DS's, my youngest is 8, so having a baby again has left me feeling quite shell shocked.

My DH suffered an injury to his arm in November which has left his arm paralysed, this has meant that he is unable to play as active a part in DD's life as he did with our other 2 children, this breaks my heart.

The first few days after having DD I was on a high, and couldn't stop kissing her/cuddling her. Now it's like I feel nothing for her, except anxiety and fear. She's sleeping now, and I'm scared about when she will wake up because I'll have to feed her and change her again. I suffered from anxiety attacks after having my other two children and diazepam helped. I have been taking diazepam again this time.

I KNOW I will get better in a few weeks when I get into a routine and feel more in control, I'm just really struggling at the moment. All these irrational thoughts/fears keep popping into my head and I feel like I am constantly having 'to talk myself down'. I am normally a very rational person. I just HATE feeling like this.

Can anyone give me some advise as to how to get through these rough weeks.

[Carotte]

I suffered terrible anxiety with my second baby so I know how you feel. It's grim. With my third, although I did have big episodes of it, because I knew what it was and that I would get through it I seemed to be able to cope with it better.

I had CBT which really helped, and I saw a herbalist who gave me a mixture of things like st johns wort and valerian and he gave me loads of dietrary advice. It's amazing the difference that makes, B vitamins for example are so important for the nervous system.

I think when you are having a bad patch like now you should be as kind to yourself as possible, at well, and rest. All that is obvious, especially with a new baby but it's so important. Can you speak to your GP about getting help with strategies to keep your stress levels down? I got an appointment with a nurse within a few weeks and she was really helpful.

Congratulations on your DD and I hope you feel better soon. The numb feelings will get better. Loads of people on here have had the same troubles and I'm sure you will get lots of support.

[chocolateshoes]

Congratulations on the birth of your DD and sorry to hear that you are finding things tough at the moment.

And you are right that things WILL get better soon. Your hormones are all over the place & you are exhausted.

Do you have a close friend you could talk to about this. Perhaps you could meet up and go out for a walk or coffee together?

I'm sorry that I can't offer much concrete advice but wanted you to know that I do sympathise. Hopefully someone will be along with some better advice soon.

Take care

[Bennj]

this sounds just like me. i remember the awful feeling i had when my son was asleep and i hated the thought of know he would be awake soon and the constant attention starts again.

i had totally irrational thoughts as well- even to the extreme that i thought my husband was having an affair! sounds stupid now but it was so real then.

i was so anxious i couldnt eat or sleep which just made things worse.

after 3\4 weeks things got better. i didnt really fell right til about 10weeks but i promise you'll get through this.

just make sure you speak to people about it and dont keep these feeling bottled up.

good luck- you'll be grand! x

[Hopeitwontbebig]

Thank you again for your messages. MUCHLY appreciated. I had quite a flat/anxious morning, but I had friends visit me this afternoon and I feel almost human again! It's good to talk to people and realise that I am not the only person in world to go through this, and that this is relatively normal. I've got my lovely Health Visitor coming in about half an hour, I'll have a good chat with her. x