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Awful mood swings

(8 Posts)
plasticsurfer Mon 10-Sep-07 00:42:25

1st time on here so hoping someone can help!

DS2 is 6 weeks old, absolutely adore him but am having issues with mood swings, get incredibly low, just crying and feeling unloved and crap at everything.
DS1 IS 4 and is my ex husbands son (who had an affair when he was newborn), DS2 is with a new partner so I expected some insecurity etc and he was fab through pregnancy in terms of reassuring etc, however I found a load of texts (sometimes 100 in a day)on his bill over a period of 9 months, when i asked him he lied and said it was a male mate, just before i gave birth i discovered it wasn't but was an ex girlfriend who he was 'saupporting' platonically apparently as she was depressed (he changed to his work phone and I found an actual text some 5 months after he'd initially lied and got it out of him), i m not sure i belive it and keep getting really angry that he's lied knowing what happened to me before and that if its true he had time for some1 else but doesn'y seem able to support me when I'm feeling so low sometimes

plasticsurfer Mon 10-Sep-07 00:43:33

p.s I'm not illiterate, just a bnad typist at 12.45 am with a 6 week on my boob!!

AZmom Mon 10-Sep-07 00:59:23

With a 6 week old, most mothers have some post natal trouble. But you have a worse worry,that is a bad thing for a father to do.I wonder if men go thru a post ( maybe prenatal) natal trauma?? Mood swings are hard to deal with, maybe you should get something from your doctor, that is if you are not nursing.I had post natal problems,
everything seem worse than usual, I finally
would get OK.

plasticsurfer Mon 10-Sep-07 04:13:27

Thanks AZMOM, yeah have thought about mentioning to doc this week as have to book my check up (just the mood swings not my life story..!) but yes I am nursing at moment although have started to mix now with formula.

My partner says he shouldn't have lied etc but that he hasn't actually 'done' anything (being unfaithful either by text, phone, in person etc) I guess part of me doesn't know if thats even true (although he didn't go out except to work and footy when I was pregnant)and thinks I should have let it go by now, this is where I'm confused, are my mood swings purely related to this and everything seems bad cos my mainstay has broken my trust or am I making a problem seem worse as I am overemotional (i.e yes he lied etc but purely to prevent me misconstruing the relationship)he doesn't seem depressed or anything and the texting predates my finding out I was pregnant and he has ceased contact with her since we've had DS2 apparently hmm I dunno, I just feel like I'm going mad.. everything is fine, great even for a day or so then something will make me angry or upset about it then I feel like I'm unattractive, not loved etc, which descends into crap mum, bad friend, everything really.

Also havn't resumed sex yet (I feel ready but he's not instigated although I've said so this is making me feel worse) he definitely isn't going anywhere to get it elsewhere and yes we are knackered but thought he would want to grab the chance if we could get a bit of time between feeds etc, this is making me insecure too.

Dear me.. I've got myself in a state..!

mamama Mon 10-Sep-07 04:43:59

Don't be so hard on yourself. You are sleep deprived and adjusting to life with a newborn & a 4 yr old.

You're right - he shouldn't have lied to you and I understand why it's hard now to believe when he says he has stopped all contact with his ex.

Talk to your gp because, if nothing else, talking out loud sometimes helps clarify things in your own mind.

Do you have any other support - someone else to talk to?

plasticsurfer Mon 10-Sep-07 08:49:59

Thanks mamama, I have friends but I'm always cheerful and very 'together' externally so it's hard to admit how I feel, I did confide in one person about the texting and she's great but she has said that he was stupid etc but obviously adores us all (me and DS1 and 2) and I need to let it go or I'll drive him away, she's right of course but I don't feel I can talk about it anymore without coming across as obsessed!

Too much pride I guess for my own good, this is helping though as it's not people who know me, am embarrassed to say anything to doc about the circumstances, was just going to mention the mood swings?

mamama Tue 11-Sep-07 04:57:51

I am like you - very proud and determined to let everyone know that I am coping well when, inside, I am a mess. I think pretending I was alright to everyone else helped convince myself that I was coping. It worked for a while and then went horribly wrong so, whilst it is ok to put on a brave face, please try not to rely on that as a long-term solution. Try to fix things so that you don't have to pretend - so that when you go out and smile & laugh, it is because you genuinely feel happy.

I do think you should mention the moodswings to your GP - I don't think he/she needs to know the situation.

Take Care

M x

plasticsurfer Tue 11-Sep-07 19:44:14

Thank you! Have made an appointment and I will mention it, u take care too xxxx

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