i cant comment on the distant mother thing, but just wanted to say hello. Sometimes i think that my children are the only reason i keep going, but i know that it isnt true, i am lucky enough to have a lovely partner too. Saying that, i sometimes look at childless people and think, why the hell do you get out of bed in the morning. So sometimes i think us mums tend to feel that, depressed or otherwise. If you are hanging on only for the children, well, i cant think of a better reason actually Hang on in there for your kids, things will get better im sure and when they do you'll be so much stronger for it. Your kids are lucky to have you and i bet THEY dont actually find you distant at all, however much you think they do.