Sitting in GP waiting room

[NeedingHelping]

Feel sick, can't stop the tears, want everything to stop.

Posting because I don't know what else to do. Never asked for a digital hand hold before.

[Whatusernamecanihave]

This was me last week, the gp will be lovely and you will be okay this is your first step and will be the hardest xxx

[Georgiemcgeorgeface]

Well done for making it to the GP you've done the right thing x

[NeedingHelping]

I cried at the receptionist. Feel like a fraud because I can't cope with work atm. Everything else is fine.

[AllStarBySmashMouth]

I've been there OP. But this is the first and hardest step on the path to getting better. Even making it to the GP surgery takes great strength, and you've done it. Don't worry about crying, it's a doctor's office - they are used to it. Children crying because they're in pain, adults crying when they receive bad news, relatives crying from worry - you will not be alone.

Just tell the doctor everything you are feeling. They will know what to do.

[NeedingHelping]

If they sign me off work, work will have to pay to cover me. They will despise me for it. I will be a problem.

[AllStarBySmashMouth]

That's their problem to solve @NeedingHelping - not yours. Don't let them make you feel bad. If you were sick with a physical ailment, would you let them pressure you? Mental health is just as important, and they can't stop you from taking your sick leave.

[NeedingHelping]

I broke my hand and got concussion a few years back. I got it plastered and walked back to work from the hospital. This is not right for me.

[BlueChangeling]

That was me 18 months ago and I can promise you it gets better. You've taken the first step on the road to health x

[PirateWeasel]

Don't feel worried about being signed off from work. Your employers have a duty of care to you and will want you fit and well enough to do the job, whatever it takes. Health before everything! Hugs to you!

[loutypips]

Bugger work! Your health is more important. You've done well going to the doctor, first step

[Clangus00]

If you died your job would be advertised quicker than your obituary would be.
I read that just yesterday and it’s true!
Your health is way, way more important than a job.
Hope you’re ok.

[NeedingHelping]

Been signed off for a week.

[Wolfiefan]

Sod work. This was me a few years ago. It was the jolt I needed to get properly well. Good luck OP.

[NeedingHelping]

Thank you.

[NeedingHelping]

I feel worse today than yesterday, cold and shaky, but I've been given 60mg duloxetine. I had a call from a friend, which has helped.

I've washed my hair.

I couldn't stop myself from tying up loose ends via email for work, because they were loose ends who wouldn't understand why I was off.

[NeedingHelping]

Better today. My head is quieter, but the tablets are making me a bit wobbly and I can hear swishing. But better.

[Pipnik]

Hi @NeedingHelping glad you are feeling a little better. Do you have plans of what you will do this week? What sort of things will help restore your inner peace and strength?

[OkayGo]

oh op these are for you

[NeedingHelping]

I'm making myself cups of tea. Not very hungry but I'm making myself eat simple things like toast.

I'm staying in bed or on the sofa a lot because my legs are wobbly.

Tried going out to the cinema last night to test the water, and it helped me feel a bit more normal but I've been worrying about colleagues seeing me out when I'm signed off. Was exhausted by 2 hours out of the house.

Feel sick and dizzy today, but not as tearful.

I'm going to see friends for coffee tomorrow; they know I'm not well and suggested it.

My sick note runs out on Tues, when I go back to see my GP. It seems both too close and too far away. Don't know how I feel yet.

[Pipnik]

Sofa, tea and toast sounds like a good start. What about a feel good movie too?
It's good to know you have friends looking out for you, hope you enjoy your visit.

[Pipnik]

Hi @NeedingHelping how are you today?

[NeedingHelping]

Hi Pipnik , thanks for checking in on me. I appreciate it.

I tried a day out of the house yesterday - taking DC to activities, seeing a friend for coffee. She says I look better but I've lost a lot of weight in less than a week.

I enjoyed doing normal things again but I'm wobbly and exhausted today. Just taken today's tablet so hoping that will help.

DH has suggested going out for lunch as a family.

[loutypips]

Bless you. You will feel weak and wobbly if you're not eating enough.
Make sure you're eating, and drinking plenty as dehydration will make you feel worse.

[Pipnik]

Hi @NeedingHelping did you get out for lunch? It was a miserable wet day here for most of the day.
Is it just work that's the problem? I've felt that way with work related stress a couple of times. My equivalent to your GP cry for help was walking into a University Counselling service in floods of tears, unable to cope. It's gotten me again since then but I've been lucky both times. Although my immediate work situation was pretty toxic the wider Organisation provided a support system to get me through it both times

[NeedingHelping]

Hi again. I'm eating and drinking, more than I was at the start of my time off. I'm more wobbly on first waking than taking the tablets now; it's more 'jelly legs' after medication than full on body wobbles.

I went for lunch and it was nice. It wiped me out though and while we were shopping my DC11 said "are you okay mum? You look like you're feeling poorly again" and I'm worried that they're shouldering the burden somehow.

It is only work that I'm struggling with atm. Lots of last minute changes instructed with no real directive plan, meaning I had to put everything on hold while my bosses decide what to do but while also keeping things going, without being too outing.

I'm going to chat with a colleague after hours tonight, since I'm due back this week.