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i'm so low.

(41 Posts)
lollyroffled Wed 01-Aug-07 12:47:08

i'm so low. i've sat all day and cried. i've cried on my 5 month old baby, i feel terrible.

Kif Wed 01-Aug-07 12:49:23

Sorry you're feeling bad.

Have you spoken to HV or GP?

Wanna talk some more?

lollyroffled Wed 01-Aug-07 12:56:03

i'm not sure what HV means... no i haven't spoken to anyone. i'm normally ok, just sometimes i get so lonely being at home all day and i find it hard to get out. i don't know any people with babies that i can meet up with. had a stupid argument with partner and i just feel awful. he just doesn't seem to understand or say the right things to me (argument over bikini shopping... i hate hate hate my post-pregnancy body!) he says it doesn't matter but then goes and oggles blatantly at other women it just really gets me down. in the shop when i picked up a bikini he actually said to me, why don't you buy a tracksuit and go swimming in that instead!!! nice one...

Kif Wed 01-Aug-07 17:27:57

Health Visitor - I'm assuming you're UK based, of course.

I can see why you're upset with your DH. Sounds like he's not being very sensitive, to say the least. I guess from his point of view he's acting 'normal' - but from your point of view so much has changed you need much more re-assurance than before. Have you tried telling him how you feel non-confrontationally? He really might be that dim.

Feeling low - feeling grotty and out of shape - it's pretty normal - even rational given how much your body has done. Your aim is to be kind to yourself and each other while everyone settles into new roles. Corny advice - but 5 months is a good age to try baby groups. The distraction of new toys and new people may make your baby easier to manage. It might also help you to structure your day, and feel less isolated. Nothing like hearing other people's dh's crimes to make yours seem nicer .

Take care

americantrish Wed 01-Aug-07 18:04:08

-hugs-
i hope you're feeling a bit better now...
i've cried on my son, a LOT. he's 3 now.

your dh needs to be more understanding (well, i know you know this.) tell him this. men dont understand how post-baby body image can really affect a woman, not to mention the flux of hormones going back to normal, the adjustment to motherhood. it all plays in

i would also recommend seeing your health visitor. they can be great ears. and also might be able to help you meet some other local moms.

try and do something nice for yourself once baby is asleep tonight....even if its 5 minutes with the paper and some tea.

lollyroffled Thu 02-Aug-07 13:20:43

thankyou KIF and AMERICANTRISH... i know i'm not the only one who feels like this, but it can sometimes feel like that! i am going to go to a mums and babies meeting on monday, i've also decided that when baby is in his bouncer i'll get some exercise too! who knows, it may pay off. thankyou for your help and kind words. this site is such a lovely idea for mums to sound off when everyone else is sick of hearing you.

bubblagirl Thu 02-Aug-07 13:41:27

hi lolly i left you a message on another thread i too went through this when my ds was born he is now 2.3

i found excercising really did help do crunches if you look on internet it will tell you what ones to do and how to do them i have just started doing them after years of sit ups and no difference i do them twice a day and have already seen a big difference my confidence is coming back hooray

do see your doctor though i went to see mine and i was border line depression and just had to be monitored for a while

men don't understand and thisds makes them react the way they do my bf used to pay compliments still does and i never believe him this hurts his feelings so stopped i can understand that now asnd i too thought he was looking at other girls i think we are looking at other girls as our threat and if bf or dh looks in that direction we think thats what there looking at lol i know i still do it but its because we lack confidence and we look for them threats when out

good luck and if you need to talk i'm here x

lollyroffled Thu 02-Aug-07 16:35:19

Hi BUBBLAGIRL, thanks for the reply. Do you know whereabouts you found the exercises on the net? i've taken a look but can't find any specifically for baby-flab! i'd love to get my nice tummy back again, maybe then i can go bikini shopping again. eek. it has to be soon because i'm dying to take my baby swimming. i do tend to put myself down and compare myself to everyone else, and i don't really have a lot of friends in the area with babies to bounce back with. it's always easier when you have friends fighting your corner and making you laugh. so thankyou for being friendly. keep up the good work with the crunches!! if you need to talk, i am here for you also... xxx

bubblagirl Thu 02-Aug-07 16:49:31

thank you i dont really have many people to talk to i do try but i find mother baby groups real awkward although have forced myself to go but found them very clicky will try again after school holidays

http://www.soyouwanna.com/site/syws/abs/abs4.html

this is where i got my tips as none of the others were that helpful hope you find it helpful

if you do feel really down though do just ask your doctors advice as she said i was normal but borderline post natal depression

it doesnt give good advice for baby flab found this the best site with the right diet it works great although i had huge pizza last night oh well done extra crunches today lol and i do quite a bit of walking so not unfit just my belly but it looks loads better will never be as it was due to being preg but definatly made a difference

where do you live anyway? xx

moodlumthehoodlum Thu 02-Aug-07 16:56:03

Sorry you are feeling sad. I have been there and it is hard. My best advice, and it sounds silly, but walk and walk and walk. When I had PND I would just walk all over the place with the buggy, and always, no matter how much effort it was to get out, felt better afterwards. As long as you don't buy a chocolate bar (like I did!!) on the way round it can also help in shifting the baby weight.

Another good way of doing this is to find a buggyfit class - they are usually held at local parks and lots of mummies get together with their buggies and walk around the park stopping to do exercises as well as chatting.

HTH

moodlumthehoodlum Thu 02-Aug-07 16:59:42

Sorry you are feeling sad. I have been there and it is hard. My best advice, and it sounds silly, but walk and walk and walk. When I had PND I would just walk all over the place with the buggy, and always, no matter how much effort it was to get out, felt better afterwards. As long as you don't buy a chocolate bar (like I did!!) on the way round it can also help in shifting the baby weight.

Another good way of doing this is to find a buggyfit class - they are usually held at local parks and lots of mummies get together with their buggies and walk around the park stopping to do exercises as well as chatting.

HTH

moodlumthehoodlum Thu 02-Aug-07 17:00:55

Oops.

lollyroffled Fri 03-Aug-07 10:54:46

BUBBLAGIRL - great link, thanks! yes, i do caved last night and ate half a pot of pralines and cream icecream! well, i was told to do something nice for myself...

how do these celebs get their tummies back, most of them look they have never been pregnant. i guess money can buy you anything!

i'm in westcliff. i am going to try and get out and walk more. i'm close to the sea so i guess i should make use of it and take long walks and get a bit fitter.

i will get my body back! is my new mantra. i'm also trying to drink more water, apparently that flushes out toxins which cause cellulite. ick!

moodlumthehoodlum - thankyou for your reply. it certainly is hard adjusting to being a mum! i'm not sure anywhere near me does parkwalks although it sounds great. where are you based? i have heard some cinemas are doing a special mums/babies showing so we don't miss out on the new movies, that would be a great idea to meet mums and see a movie without having to find someone to babysit!

thanks to you guys i'm feeling much better today, thankyou xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

lollyroffled Fri 03-Aug-07 10:56:04

i meant, i TO caved... not DO... still half asleep x

bubblagirl Fri 03-Aug-07 17:41:02

lol lolly i'm terrible at my diet but just try to make sure i get out for a walk if feeling bit low it just helps in some weird way lol

i drink lots of water now with slices of lemon in and ice it really helps i too have noticed such a difference and the lemon helps make the water a bit more interesting and supposedly it helps with digestion so hey i'll try anything i was told today i've lost weight so hooray it must be working as i say if you want to talk my e mail is sylv_25@hotmail.co.uk feel free to e mail me what a beautiful day today got out the paddling pool and spent all day in garden and my son has tired himself out and no probs going to bed hooray xx

bubblagirl Fri 03-Aug-07 17:43:49

oh the celebs have all day training a nice nanny to watch kids either sucked or tucked lol they are there to make us feel like crap but underneath it all i'm sure they have the same insecurities we do it the right way baby comes first

have good weekend i'm actually out tomoorrow night only for few hours as my friend is a light weight lol but at least i'm out for short while xx

bubblagirl Fri 03-Aug-07 17:44:11

Lizzzombie Fri 03-Aug-07 17:52:24

Lolly - I was shi**ing myself about taking my baby swimming and being seen in public in any type of revealing outfit. But, I found a really nice tankini, and held my breath when walking into the pool. Once you are in no one can see anyway. Plus, if you are carrying your baby, its a great accessory for hiding bulges!
Really hope you meet some nice people at the baby group. Westcliff is by the sea isnt it? Maybe you could suggest going for a seafront buggy walk with some of the other mothers there? Then you get to chat to other mums, and also do exercise. I love doing that, but cant seem to steer the buggy away from the sea front cafes...I think there maybe something wrong with it! good luck x

lollyroffled Mon 06-Aug-07 07:55:24

Hi guys, i am off to mums and babies today for the first time, and then for a long walk along the seafront!

Lizzzombie - where did you get your tankini from! i've looked all over town and can't find anything decent, i guess it's the wrong time of yeat to buy them now. who made up the rule that you can only buy swimwear in the summer!?

bubblagirl - you are lucky to have a back garden! i live in a flat, i really needed a paddling pool this weekend, so hot!!! perhaps i could put one in my lounge...?

hope you guys had a great weekend

will let you know how i get on today... xxx

bubblagirl Mon 06-Aug-07 11:09:36

really hope you have a good time we live in a flat also but have shared garedn and its really big so its good to have one finally

i'm sure you would love it at baby group try e bay for a tankini as most shops are re stocking for next season clothes

look forward to hearing how you got on xx

slim22 Mon 06-Aug-07 11:44:30

Hi,
I remember sitting in baby group with perfectly groomed dotting mums and thinking what the hell am I doing here???
Eventually you'll find someone to relate to.
The important thing is just to get out of the house.
Count your blessings that you have a 5 months old that sits in a buggy rather that a restless toddler! You can still do shopping//museums/walking/sitting on a terrace to sip a drink without too much disruption!
Go out and enjoy!

lollyroffled Mon 06-Aug-07 16:49:28

well i went... and it was fine. loads of people there which was a bit daunting at first but everyone seemed ok. i'm going again next week, it felt good to get out and take a walk in the sunshine. i even had a salad for lunch!!! how are you all today? xxx

bubblagirl Mon 06-Aug-07 19:59:27

i'm so glad you enjoyed yourself it is very daunting your braver than me although after the holidays i am going to try and go again

i'm ok not been feeling to well today so having early light tonight my dp is working away for 2 days so cant afford to be ill

xx

bubblagirl Mon 06-Aug-07 19:59:52

night lol

slim22 Mon 06-Aug-07 22:36:45

keep it up!

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