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My mum thinks I have the 'baby blues'...(7 Posts)
My mum is down for the week visiting. I live in London and my family are up north. DP's family are in other countries.
DS is 7months and I adore him but I will be the first to admit that it has been a hard slog for DP and me what with moving house when DP was 2wks old, trying to get the decorating done (it's taking us ages), keeping on top of the housework (never manage this- it always seems to be a mess) whilst looking after and bf a baby who never sleeps for longer than 3-4hrs in the night. I obviously have no family about so don't get any help with DS - it's just him and me during the day.
Anyway, I have got into a habit of going back to bed with DS for an hr most mornings and did it this morning whilst my mum pottered about my house tidying. When I got up, she said that she thought I had the 'baby blues'. I asked her if she thought I was depressed and she said she didn't but that I don't seem myself and that I seem to be tired all the time. I have been feeling a bit low lately but haven't labelled myself as 'depressed' or anything. I got my period a month ago for the first time since I had my baby so have been wondering if that has had something to do with my mood and how tired I am although never suffered mentally before I had DS.
Sorry if this looks like one long moan. I know a lot of people on here are in much worse situations that I am. I'm just unsure what to think about her comment.
Have to add that my mum suffers really badly with depression so is well aware of what she is talking about.
You're no more 'depressed' than any mum in your situation. It's a weird time, lack of sleep, humongous commitments, etc.
For what it's worth, you sound find to me. The baby blues is usually a term used when a newborn comes along. At 7 months (alert, response, starting to sit up), you just have the knackered blues.
And this continues for some while yet ... so keep a cheerful disposition because this time goes so fast.
<your mum's depression will colour her judgement ... naturally so. What you're experiencing is very normal>
I am not an expert in depression/pnd at all but I don't think going back to bed for an hour in the mornings is necessarily a sign - particularly if you are not getting much sleep at night. Tbh, it seems like a sensible idea to me - and why not do it eh?
And you probably are tired all the time - but then again, surely that is to be expected because you are not sleeping at night.
What does your DP think? Does he think you may be depressed?
Thanks guys - I don't think I am depressed. I am really enjoying being with DS and have got a great circle of friends in the area I have moved to so am generally quite happy day-to-day.
I think that everything gets on top of me sometimes - as it does with most people I suppose. I am a good mum and that is all that matters to me atm. Stuff like housework (my mum is incredibly houseproud) isn't THAT important although before DS our old place was immaculate so I think mum might think I am struggling with everything.
DP doesn't think I am depressed - I don't think he does anyway. We are both at the stage where we are dragging our arses across the floor - we are knackered.
Going for a week away in Italy in August so am hoping that will sort us both out.
Thanks for listening xx
You keep doing what you're doing. Doesn't sound like there's anything wrong with you. More mums would benefit from that hour in the mornings. Some, of course, take it in the afternoons.
As to the house, a very wise much older lady said to me: "Why tidy the mess till the mess makers leave home?" Words to live by I feel!
Ooh Mars - I like that thought. Am fed up of picking all DS's toys up each night only for the lounge to look like a tip within 5 minutes in the morning!
Ilove - if neither you or, more crucially, your DP don't think you are depressed, I wouldn't worry about it.
When Ds was having a nap late afternoon I used to snuggle up on our bed with him and we would both drift off and have a lovely sleep - I really miss being able to do that now as he doesn't have that nap
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