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i need to hear some positive stories to give me hope

(9 Posts)
divastrop Sat 07-Jul-07 12:51:01

PND has hit pretty hard since the birth of my 5th child in march.i had been on fluoxetine 20mg from week 12 of pregnancy for AND,and really thought i'd feel better after having the baby,as i had AND with dc3+4 but was ok after the birth(apart from suffering anxiety but nothing major).

i have felt worse,however,and tried a different ad for a little while,but couldnt cope with side effects,so was put on fluoxetine 40mg about 2 months ago.

i was feeling suicidal,and i dont feel that bad anymore,but i still have that 'whats the point?' feeling,cant seem to find joy in anything,cant even get excited about getting married in october even though i love dp with all my heart.i just keep dwelling on what could go wrong.

my nan died 2 weeks ago,and i went to the funeral on tuesday,but i cant even think about her,i hardly even cried even though we were very close,i dont think its even sunk in that shes gone.

i know this is pnd,but i am starting to lose hope that i will ever be ok again.i had it pretty bad after having dd1 8.5 years ago,but at that time i was in an abusive relationship so its hard to know what was the depression and what was just me feeling bad due to circumstances.

i know this is long and i have started so many threads like this over the past few months,but i am fed up with feeling this way and just want to snap out of it and make the most of life and enjoy being a mum while my kids are small.

i think hearing about others who have got through PND would help me and give me hope.

justgivemeoneminute Sat 07-Jul-07 12:58:33

Fortunately I've never had PND but I really do feel for you and send you my love and best wishes...xxxx

berolina Sat 07-Jul-07 13:02:09

You've identified this as PND, hold on to that and to the fact that it can be beaten.

I've no experience of depression, but have been in pretty deep holes with anxiety, borderline anorexia and OCD, and have got out of those holes.

Remember you have a lot to cope with (5 children, respect) and be kind to yourself. 'Snapping out of it' will not happen, but gradual recovery can.

Take care.

clumsymumjones Sat 07-Jul-07 21:43:09

Big hugs to you. PND is an awful thing, and whilst you're suffering from it everything seems bleak and not worth the effort.

You will get through it, maybe not today or tomorrow, but soon you will start to feel better and more in control. Exhaustion from lack of sleep and running around after little ones doesn't help your mood either (at least in my experience).

Try to remember you're doing a brilliant job of looking after 5 kiddies (no mean feat), and make sure you look after yourself, eating as healthily as you can, drinking plenty of water etc.

I found getting out and about, say to the park or around the village for half and hour or so every day helped (getting a fix of friendly conversation where i could find it!!)

I still have good and bad days, though now the good outway the bad, which i'm sure will happen to you soon too.

Take care x

divastrop Sun 08-Jul-07 16:21:55

thanks for your replies xxx

Dior Sun 08-Jul-07 16:26:25

Message withdrawn

divastrop Sun 08-Jul-07 16:40:26

dior-thanks.i have been eating well(though ive had a week off as i went to my mums in the week for my nan's funeral,and my mum always feeds me )as i am trying to lose the pregnancy weight.before this week i was doing pretty well,i intend to go back to it tomorrow.i have also been excersising every evening,and the other post-natal thread ladies and i have started a thread supporting each other in our healthy eating/excersise,which is helping to keep me strong and focussed.

i think the prozac must be doing something as i dont feel as bad as i did,but i have noticed ive felt the urge to self-harm a couple of times when ive been very distreaaes,since the dose increase.last time i felt that way was after having dd1.i feel frustrated and annoyed with myself for having bad thoughts,and i feel like hurting myself sometimes.

ive just been trying to ignore that side of things...

Nbg Sun 08-Jul-07 16:54:03

diva, I started a thread yesterday as I have been feeling bad for just over a year now. It started when I was pg with ds last summer. I had him in August last year and I'm now 20 weeks pg with number 3.
Although mine is more anxiety and panic I understand the feelings you described.

I know full well it wont be forever but I just need to focus on that.

Like Berolina said, hold on to the fact that you have recognised it.
Do you have a good GP? Maybe if you go back and explain that you are feeling slightly better but not as good as you'd hoped.
Have you been offered any counselling or other help?

divastrop Sun 08-Jul-07 20:44:09

ive been seeing a councellor since i was 9 weeks pregnant with dd2,and i still see her(dd2 is 19 months old now),and have recently been reffered to a different mental health team and am waiting for an initial appointment.

i have suffered anxiety as well,its got to the stage now where me suffering anxiety etc feels 'normal',as i havent been ok for more than a couple of weeks at atime since i was pregnant with ds1 10 years ago.

i wasnt expectinf miricles from the ad's,i'm just getting so impatient now as i feel like im wasting time being depressed iyswim,and dp tells me i should just get on with it and stop focussing on negative things all the time,but i dont feel that its within my control atm.i feel overwhelmed still,not like i am feeling down but know that if i push myself to get out and about etc i will fell better,i just feel like i cant get out of this hole that im in.

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