Would a diagnosis make me better?

[redannie118]

Hello will try to keep this brief. Background- MH my whole life. Depression, anxiety and self harm to the point of suicidal, better now but still have issues, at the moment compulsive picking at top of the list. Pick my scalp and pull my hair until i have bald patches and raw weeping skin. Cant sleep as pick and bite my tongue and cheek until they are raw. Its got so bad im losing my sense of taste. My brother and sister have been diagnosed with BPD due to shared childhood trauma. I dont think i fit the bill as one of the main symptoms is fear of abandonment and i am never more happy than when im alone, however i can have a explosive temper, i self harm and have engaged in risky behaviour in the past. Ive had councilling and anti depressants in the past and they havent helped. Would some kind of diagnosis ( bpd of not) help me get better? Im 46 now and am exhausted by feeling this way.So as not to drip feed other trauma has included 20years with EA husband, severe PND and health issues with no family suport at all, son highly functioning ASD who i raised alone with no support, i am support system still for mother , she uses me as her punchbag. Husband with bipolar( am sole carer) have long term chronic health condition and constant pain.
Is how i feel just a reaction to my life and is there anything that would help?Anyone been through similar and found a diagnosis did/did not help?
Sorry for length thanks for reading

[BiglyBadgers]

It does sound like you have had a really tough time and have a lot of stress on you.

A diagnosis isn't a cure, in and of itself it doesn't actually change anything. There can be good and bad things about having one, but ultimately it's not what is going to make you better. Proper support and treatment is going to do that. This may come with a formal diagnosis or it might not.

Right now it sounds like what you really want it some help to stop the picking and to feel better, so I would focus on that rather than the idea of diagnosis. Have you spoken to your GP recently about the picking and your other issues and asked for some help? If not then start with a GP appointment and go from there.

[redannie118]

@bigleybadgers thank you for your lovely reply. Ive never told the gp- years ago when my arms were covered with razor cuts and gouges i went to a gp and she saisd " oh they are just scratches" like they didnt mean anything. I know i need to pluck up the courage to go again but find it very very hard

[Cailleach]

If your son is autistic, there is a strong possibility that you are, too. Women with ASD are often misdiagnosed with BPD.

[BiglyBadgers]

An unhelpful response like that from a GP can put you off for life. I had similar when I was younger and was pretty much told I was wasting their time. There are some really nice GPs out there though and I've had some good ones since. I know it is really, really hard to go, but do try. Make sure you see a different doctor and plan what you want to say in advance. I know some people find it helpful to write things down and either read from notes or just hand it over to the doctor.

Sometimes we need some help to get through and there is no shame in asking for that.