I just can't. I can't cope. I need to take 2 year old DS for settling in season at nursery at 10.30. Last week he cried when I left him, he clung to me and just kept repeating mama hug mama hug mama hug. (I'm aware this is probably normal I'm not saying it's not I'm just saying I don't feel emotionally able to handle it right now) He was fine a few minutes after I left and for the hour he was there. He's saying no nursery over and over and over this morning. I just told him to shut up. I just can't handle the constant repeating. Why did I do that. It just came out. I hate myself. He needs me to be stable and I can't be. I just can't. I have anorexia and bpd and I am just not coping anymore and I've started self harming again and im restricting my intake really badly so I have no energy and I am irritable and I am just no good to be a mother. I do not know how I am supposed to hold it together to take him to nursery. I cried there last week. I feel so guilty I feel like I am ruining his life I am ruining my husbands life, we argued before he left this morning and have hardly been talking, I cannot stand to exist anymore. I want to disappear. How to get through this morning. How to keep going
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