Cried all the way home

[lostvoice]

I've never really been diagnosed with any mental health issues, but it has vaguely been mentioned by gp - low serotonin
But I think I'm at the point where I need have a proper conversation.

I've felt on the edge for a few weeks now and today I just cried the 15 min walk from the play group I take my 9mo DD to.
It was the third time I burst in to tears today.

Nothing really major set me off, I thought I had stopped the pram out of the way of the footpath, apparently not, old lady rather abruptly told me to move. She was a bit rude but it shouldn't have caused me to get so upset, but did.

I'm petrified of talking to the dr.
I've been up and down for years and always struggle during winter months. Struggled after DD was born too, every few months I can feel my self slipping back.

Always chatted through with DH, worked on myself and always managed to get passed it. But now I can tell he's feeling the strain, and it's getting worse.
We don't have anyone else and it doesn't help feeling guilty about leaning on him so much when he's always been so fantastic.

Can anyone advise what to expect when I go and speak to the gp?

I'm scared I'll either blub my eyes out and make no sense, or play it down because I have DD with me and I hate crying in front of her

TIA x

[Causeimunderyourspell]

You will most likely be offered citalopram. Your post sounds so familiar. This is exactly where I was 3 weeks ago. My children are 2&3 but I was tearful, irritable and just not right at all.

I got to a point where I felt my emotions were out of control, crying at the drop of a hat. Went to the GP, and yes I did burst into tears. But there's nothing to be embarrassed about at all. It's not anyone's fault that the chemicals in their brains aren't right, just like you wouldn't blame someone for any other illness they may have.

Be honest with your gp, take the tablets (if offered, which I would put money on they will be), don't be scared. I got prescribed 10mg which did nothing. Called up a few days later and they upped to 20mg. I can feel the fog starting to lift now and I'm glad I was brave and faxed my problems head on.

 you will get there

[Causeimunderyourspell]

*faced not faxed! Lol

Also just to add, don't hide your emotions from your daughter. You are human not a mumbot, and I think it's right that our children know that. If you cry in front of her at the drs, it's ok

[lostvoice]

Thankyou for your quick reply @Causeimunderyourspell
Glad you are starting to feel better,
I have an appointment at the start of next month, it's almost impossible to get earlier ones with out it being emergency same day.

But I think I need to talk to them sooner, I'll call tomorrow and see if I can get put on the triage.

We have a lot of mental health issues within the family, probably not controlled well. It has meant I've always been told antidepressants are pretty much just dangerous and "at least we don't have that worry with you" which makes me feel like I'm failing them 😔

[StairMonster]

Hey they still won’t “have that worry with you” (thoughtless thing to say) because you don’t have to tell them.



Give your doctor a ring and see if there are any cancellations. Go on a waiting list if you can get there at short notice.

[AlwaysColdHands]

Don’t be scared of going to the GP, no one is going to judge you, and you can make informed decisions about whether to take medication or not. Often a very low dose for a while might just be enough, it doesn’t resign you to a lifetime of them.
So many of us have been there, you are doing incredibly for realising you need help - that’s a sign of strength, not weakness.
Best wishes and take care of yourself x

[Causeimunderyourspell]

@lostvoice yeah I would ask if you could get a dr call back. If you tell them it's regarding your mental health, I'm pretty sure they will get someone to speak to you the same day.

Please try to ignore anyone, family or otherwise, who believe ADs are dangerous or taboo. It's literally just medication to treat an illness, end of. Your anxiety is talking, with regards to how you are perceiving yourself as a let down. You aren't. You haven't chosen this for yourself so please give yourself a break!

[lostvoice]

So, totally wimped our today 

Generally felt a bit better after a long chat with DH last night.

Had a thing for DD this morning, then it was nap, lunch, errands, nap. Then it was too late in the day to call.

Going to call first thing tomorrow. For sure. If i commit to it in writing I'm much more likely to actually do it

[lostvoice]

Thankyou for everyone's kind messages, it really appreciated

I did call this morning, cried to the receptionist, the dr on the triage call and the dr when I went to see her but she was really lovely and I feel so relieved to have finally talked about it.
I've been given sertraline and a follow up in a few weeks

Thanks @Causeimunderyourspell one of my issues was not really knowing how to start the conversation and your post helped me word it without becoming a rambling mess

@StairMonster you're totally, right DH and I have chatted and decided we don't need to tell anyone who won't be a positive influence

[StairMonster]

Well done you

[Sarah22xx]

Well done! I know how difficult that first step is, I hope you start to feel better soon.xx