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(17 Posts)
ashlea4x Sun 10-Jun-18 14:52:01

I’m sure that this is normal and I’m praying for that one person to tell me it is! I’m 6 months pregnant with my first child and to say I’m struggling will be a complete understatement!

Before pregnancy I was the most chilled out person, never got angry or stressed but since I found it I was pregnant i feel like a dark cloud has taken over me. I have tried to talk to my partner but he doesn’t understand - so I brush it off and carry on.

I wake up and some days I can’t control this other side of me - today I actually attacked my partner with a chair, smashed his van radio up and threw shoes at him - all of this is not me and not my character! I can’t control my aggression and tears and each day is becoming harder. I worry I won’t bond with my baby girl and question myself daily if I’m going to be a good mother, be able to provide for her. I feel so alone with my dark cloud and I’m worried that speaking out will make me look like a bad person who is unfit to be a parent if I can’t control my rage and moods. Today was the first time I have even been phiscally violent and I’m hoping it’s a one off.

Has anyone felt like this or been like this and please tell me how you learnt to deal with this

Xxxxx

FissionChips Mon 11-Jun-18 11:05:30

I’m worried that speaking out will make me look like a bad person who is unfit to be a parent if I can’t control my rage and moods

That’s not how you will look at all. You will look like a person who recognises that something is wrong, who is willing to take responsibility for it and who does not want such a thing to happen again.
Please go and see your GP or midwife, you could have something like antenatal depression. There is help, go and take it.

4dogs Mon 11-Jun-18 17:59:04

I hope you can get some RL support with this, antenatal depression is recognised now so please chat with your midwife or gp.

ashlea4x Mon 11-Jun-18 19:40:54

I went to the doctors today and they have advised me for a self referral at talking therapies which I think will help. If that doesn’t work the next step will be medication which I don’t want as unsure of side effects for my bambino! Xx

FissionChips Mon 11-Jun-18 23:03:21

That’s great news, well done for taking that step.

Medications have been used for years by pregnant women, the doctor will make sure you’re given one that is safe. Don’t be scared of taking them if you feel you need to.

Well done again!

4dogs Tue 12-Jun-18 07:34:08

It’s great you’ve taken that first step, well done.

ashlea4x Tue 12-Jun-18 08:51:21

Thank you, it does make you feel better to talk about it even though it really is the hardest thing in the world x

4dogs Wed 13-Jun-18 10:51:00

How are you feeling?

Melliegrantfirstlady Wed 13-Jun-18 10:54:15

What happens externally when baby is in the womb has an impact on the baby’s development.

Assaulting your partner is abusive and dangerous for your unborn child.

You should going anger management in your area

ashlea4x Wed 13-Jun-18 12:24:56

Thank you Melliegrantfirstlady for your opinion however telling someone who has depression and aniexty to go to anger management is not the right way of support and o find your post hard to read.

I can on here to seek advice from other women who may have had a smiliar experience to mine not to be told that i need anger management and the affects of my unborn child. So again thank you for advice on something I am already aware of.

No one tells you how you are supposed to be or how you are supposed to be during pregnancy and no pregnancy is textbook. Like I said I came here for advice and support not to be told something I am already aware off

ashlea4x Wed 13-Jun-18 12:27:27

Thankfor 4dogs i now have support from my partner which is hard for him to understand how I am feeling. Each day I make sure I take time to myself and have got myself lost in a new series in Netflix. I am waiting to here back from a local perinatal mental health team. It feels better to talk about how i am feeling. smile

FissionChips Wed 13-Jun-18 14:12:33

I’m glad you’re feeling a bit better, pregancy can affect us is strange and horrible ways.
You might find writing down your thoughts helpful when you are feeling anger/stressed, acknowledge them then rip them up and then do something positive/ calming. Go for a walk, bake a cake, something that is the opposite of what you are feeling.

ashlea4x Wed 13-Jun-18 15:53:49

FissionChips thank you! Writing things down does help a lot I will be sure to do that! Pregnancy is a wonderful yet overwhelming thing that’s for sure!

Melliegrantfirstlady Wed 13-Jun-18 17:24:48

Op

Sorry but anxiety and depression is not a cause of domestic abuse.

I am making you aware of that so that you cannot use it as an excuse for your actions.

I have a personal interest in child welfare and promote that even on MN.

Like I say you need help with anger management.

Getting help with your depression does not mean that you will not be violent again.

I do genuinely wish you the best of luck

4dogs Wed 13-Jun-18 17:38:02

How’s your day been today? Has the dark cloud you spoke of dissipated? I hope you are feeling better. I had hideous ante natal depression with my first pregnancy, 25 years’ ago, and it was horrendous.

FissionChips Wed 13-Jun-18 17:40:22

There is a complete difference between a woman who becomes pregnant and experiences a change of character , behaviour and ability to control emotions due to the pregancy and a person who is just a dick for no reason.

The op recognised that her actions were wrong, she has stated that the changes in emotion are completely knew to her and she is struggling to manage. She has taken positive action and went to her doctor for help.

JuneBalloon Wed 13-Jun-18 19:48:54

This definitely sounds hormonal and I wonder if there is a pregnancy vitamin you can take to balance things out?

I recently experienced something very similar but it was menopause related (still hormones). I felt really, REALLY fed up and could not give a f**k about anything, which is most unlike me. I could happily have got in the car and driven away, leaving my whole (rather lovely) life behind. I knew it was irrational but it was also so real. It lasted a week and (rather bizarrely) lifted after a routine phone call with my parents

My point being, don't panic - you're not alone. Keep out of harms way (I slept a lot or hid in my room with a kindle) and maybe look at supplements or your diet as a first port of call. It will all be worth it once the bubba arrives!

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