PTSD but don’t feel traumatised

[IrrelevantPeasant]

Hi, I’ve posted on here about this before but I’m still not sure how I feel about it. Basically I’ve had counselling due to a horrible birth and the counsellor says I have PTSD. She’s referred me for EMDR which I should be going for later this month. However, I don’t think her diagnosis is right. I feel like she’s given me a way out of taking responsibility for my actions, almost like I now have an excuse for the way I feel/ have behaved. Part of me wants her to say that what happened was all my fault and tell me to stop complaining about it. I mean that with no disrespect to anyone with PSTD, I’m referring only to the way I feel about my own situation. I just feel so confused about the whole thing. Has anyone else been through this?

[Intheblackhole]

Hi Op I don't know if you would fill all the criteria for PTSD as such,but if you have symptoms she feels are significant, it's worth trying the emdr.
Re the label giving you some sort of excuse, it's a difficult one because trauma can make you feel you are to blame for what happened so that could be one of your symptoms. Are you anxious, do you find it hard to accept what's happened ? Are you having anxious thoughts or dreams and avoiding talking or thinking about it etc?

[DidoAndHerLament]

It sounds very disempowering to be diagnosed and told you've got something. Especially PTSD which is all about being out of control. For some people, it would be a relief to have a label for their experience, but some people would hate it (including me ). Whether you have post-traumatic stress or not, can you have a discussion with your counsellor about how you feel so that you can find out what you need in a more collaborative way?

[Intheblackhole]

I agree with Dido. I had an acute stress trauma response and probably do have PTSD but my current counsellor always seems to evade direct diagnosis, although she calls my past period of distress a sort of ' breakdown' which I find very disempowering because she didn't see me then and I was upset but functioned so disagree.
I'm surprised your counsellor ( is she a psychologist?) has diagnosed this to be honest as most counsellors tend to talk in terms of difficulties and symptoms rather than a diagnosis.

[IrrelevantPeasant]

HI thanks for your replies. Yes I am anxious and find it hard to accept but I don’t avoid thinking about it. If anything I’m almost obsessed with going over it in my head. I do feel like it’s my fault, even although I know the situation was completely out of my control, I feel like I must have deserved it. I don’t want to waste people’s time with this but at the same time I know I’m not right. I just find the whole thing so confusing.

[Intheblackhole]

It sounds confusing and as if you are trying to make sense of something traumatic that happened. The reexperiencing symptom can be in the form of unwanted thoughts.
I think feeling that it was your fault might be a symptom of the trauma.
I hope all is ok now with your baby.
Maybe try it and if it seems too formulaic ask to talk it through further with the counsellor.