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What type of support should I get?

(4 Posts)
Melly19 Sun 11-Feb-18 18:33:34

Without going into masses of detail, as a result of my DH's gambling (unknown to me), I am facing the loss of our house, the loss of his job due to fraud in order to pay debts and him possibly going to prison. I have not yet decided what to do about the marriage but do want to support him in the short term as he is going to Gambler's Anonymous etc. I am now the sole bill payer and I also have ill parents who I don't want to burden with this but am also thinking about.

In the meantime I think I could do with some kind of therapy to deal with this (the constant and relentless worry is making me nauseous, snappy and tense as well as very emotional). I started seeing a therapist last week but am wondering if I specifically need CBT to help deal with this constructively?

Also do these things go on medical records and can employers ask about them? I am paying for a therapist but given money worries would prefer to see one via NHS.

I name changed.

Melly19 Tue 13-Feb-18 14:02:39

Just wondered if anyone had any thoughts on this...


twoplytwoply Tue 13-Feb-18 17:12:53

What a shitty situation you're in, I hope it improves for you soon.

Your employer can't see your medical records without your express permission. So whatever the situation, they would never know unless you told them.

There is no shame in getting therapy when you need I though.

You could ask for NHS therapy but waiting lists are almost always incredibly long (last time I waited about 10 months). If you even qualify for it, you also won't get a choice of who you see, type of therapy and it will be short term anyway (think 6 weeks). If you need help now, pay for it now. There's often low cost counselling available from various places if you google what's available in your local area - GP surgery may have a list.

With regards to what approach would best help/suit you. The relationship between you and your therapist is more important than focussing on one particular technique. The NHS loves CBT but it's not necessarily the right thing for every situation - I'd suggest it's not the right thing for you right now as it sounds like you need to talk to someone not to be doing stuff to change your thoughts and behaviours.

Melly19 Tue 13-Feb-18 18:18:15

Thank you so much for your detailed response.

I wondered about CBT because all the different things I have to think about become overwhelming and I start catastrophising. But perhaps regular therapy will help me deal with the emotions first and then I can work on actually dealing with all the issues themselves.

Will still speak to GP but had no idea the lists were so long (should have realised really).

I wondered more whether future employers could see records during job applications. I agree, no shame in this but unfortunately there is stigma and some people don't see things that way. The last thing I need should I have to look for another job are problems getting another role.

Thanks so much

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