I'm currently being treated for depression with citalopram.
I've had anxiety, depression, low mood for over twenty years due to a disruptive and abusive childhood. Fast forward twenty years later and although things are good - no abuse, no DV, no substance misuse etc I still feel profoundly empty and wrong.
I cannot comfortably socialize for more than an hour or two.
I have had 15 jobs in the last 15 years but have never kept a job longer than four months.
I have regular headaches and panic attacks about all random things.
I've been assessed by GP and CMHT as normal just moderately depressed. But i know there is something wrong with me. I go from being motivated, goal orientated, passionate and dedicated to needing days in bed to quitting my job out of the blue. Hence the 15 jobs in so many years.
I want to be normal - go to work, have friends manage the housework etc but I find life so mentally, physically and emotionally draining.
Can anyone share any similar experiences? I think the number of jobs I have had is not normal but here, on my 16th job i can't imagine still working here in 6 months. It's like i HAVE to move on. This pattern is destructive i think it is linked to my mental health but i refuse to believe it is only depression as I am so motivated sometimes.
Thanks for reading if you've got this far. I'm so down about this but I don't feel I can stop it.
TIA
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Mental health
WTF is WRONG WITH ME?
6 replies
NamerChangerExtravaganza · 23/01/2018 20:01
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