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3 Weeks On Sertaline

(14 Posts)
penguintoy Fri 12-Jan-18 16:44:20

I've been taking it for 3 weeks for postnatal depression. The first week and a half was hard, no notable side effects at first but by the end of the first week my anxiety was through the roof. The day before two weeks things picked up, no more anxiety and I had a decent ish day. That continued, with each day being ever so slightly better than the day before.

Initially my mood would dip in the evening, as if the drugs had worn off but that stopped happening.

It's now exactly 3 weeks. I haven't cried in a week I think, which is huge as I spent most of each day for the 6 weeks prior in hysterics. My depressed mood has lifted massively, so much so my family are celebrating as they can see such improvement. I know they're so keen for me to be better.

But I'm still stuck in my head. I'm grateful for the improvement but terrified this is good as it gets. That I'm somehow broken forever. I feel kind of dead inside, not hideously depressed anymore and even enjoying some hobbies again but not truly my old self. I'd describe it as just going through the motions.

I plan my day meticulously so there's no time to think. If I feel my mood dipping slightly I'll busy myself. Yes, the fact I can do that to work through it is huge as prior to this I had zero control. But I'm definitely not myself. I want life to feel natural. To just have a day of fun where I don't question how I feel constantly. Or have to preoccupy myself at all times.

I've got by through speaking a lot with my loved ones, but don't feel I can this week as I have nothing to say. It's close to being better but not quite. I can't put my finger on what's wrong, I just know something is.

So I'm trying to make myself feel better by writing here. Has anyone who has taken it before experienced this? Will it keep working?

My review with the GP is next week, rationally I'm trying to tell myself it must take 4 weeks or she wouldn't have picked that point. I'm scared I'll need a dose increase and will have to go through the side effects again. But equally keen for it because I just want this horrible chapter of my life to be over.

Would really appreciate knowing how long it took people to work and if they remember experiencing anything like this?

penguintoy Fri 12-Jan-18 16:53:34

Also if anyone has experience with upping their dose, do the side effects come back?

I only have one real side effect left, which is tooth grinding. I hope that goes soon.

yawningyoni Fri 12-Jan-18 17:34:10

I'd give it a few more weeks/months, three weeks is very early days . You can always tweak the dose or try a different SSRI until you find you're getting maximum benefit

I don't think that anti depressants are a complete fix.
I was on them, for severe anxiety and depression, at a really high dose eventually. They enabled me to function but they didn't fix me, I still wasn't myself. I stoped taking them a year ago, as I was naturally recovering from PND and I couldn't bear the side affects any longer (mainly inorgasmia - which reduced the quality of my life) . I've had lots of counselling and I'm only starting to feel like myself again now.

yawningyoni Fri 12-Jan-18 17:35:26

I upped my dose many times and didn't have any side effects with any increase,

penguintoy Fri 12-Jan-18 18:14:34

@yawningyoni I know what you mean but feel in this case it kind of should be a complete fix, as I was extremely happy the day before this kicked in. There's no reason for it seemingly other than the chemical balance so if medication can't help I don't know what will.

Have had CBT / counselling in the past for anxiety and completely agree with the power of them. Just not useful for me now unfortunately.

That's really good to know, thank you!

yawningyoni Fri 12-Jan-18 19:32:00

Maybe some vit B12 or vit D might help if you think it's chemical

EmmaJane26 Fri 12-Jan-18 19:35:37

Hi, like you I’d never had depression pre giving birth. I went onto sertaline for 9 months. Within about 4-6 felt back to normal and then came off them slowly and never felt better. This was 6 years ago. Total chemical imbalance cause by pregnancy/birth xx

penguintoy Fri 12-Jan-18 19:40:47

@EmmaJane26 thanks Emma, so glad you got over it and Sertaline worked for you! I hope it does for me too xx

Intercom Fri 12-Jan-18 19:57:03

It could be that it hasn't reached its full effectiveness for you yet, so you'll know more by the time you see the GP. But it can also take time to rebuild your strength after having a low time. Keep going and I hope you make a steady recovery 💐

penguintoy Fri 12-Jan-18 20:05:04

@Intercom thank you x

That's a good point I've wondered about. I sometimes feel almost depressed I've been depressed it that makes sense? Sad about the time it's robbed me of which I thought would be so different. But I'm trying so hard every day not to think like that and to stay positive. It's so unbelievably draining having had to cheer lead myself just to exist for all these weeks but I know it's important.

EmmaJane26 Fri 12-Jan-18 20:51:20

I’m sure it will. Your post made me smile remembering....’overthinking’ takes a while to go away....but the whole experience has made me much more ‘real’. Don’t worry and don’t try to rush it. Just accept it’s a stage of your life which will become part of your history but also shape who you are in the future. I’ll never regret going through it and having the insight to support/empathise others. At the time it was so hard but have confidence it will just become a memory which you will look back on with some fondness - even though right now that’s the last thing you’d imagine x

penguintoy Sat 13-Jan-18 11:11:52

@EmmaJane26 thank you so much, that's such a great way to look at it and such a relief to hear!

EmmaJane26 Sat 13-Jan-18 13:03:39

It’s my pleasure. Here if you ever need anymore reassurance. Try to relax and enjoy being a mum - knowing you’ll be back to normal soon enough and even more content because you’re a mum. I was sorting through my sons memory box yesterday and found his first birthday hubby had written in it that “mummy says this has been the best year of her life” - the start of which, like you, was the toughest time I’d ever had 😊 x

penguintoy Sat 13-Jan-18 16:57:40

@EmmaJane26 thank you! That's so sweet, I can't wait to be looking back on it like that x

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