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Can’t Continue With Life

(25 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

WatchingMammaMiaAgain72 Mon 11-Dec-17 21:31:44

Posted before but NC although some details may be revealing.

This evening I just feel I can’t go on anymore.
Had a horrible break up from my DCs Dad. I was left destitute but managed to borrow some money from family to be able to rent a room but couldn’t afford a house for myself & the DCs so they live with their father.
He abused me sexually & physically but is a good father to DC.
In past 2 days he has sent me numerous messages about how I am vile & mad & never laid a finger on me. The abuse is documented with the police but I feel I’m going mad.
Tonight he has sent an email (as blocked him on text) to tell me I cannot see the DC on Christmas Day unless I retract my accusations. I am in pieces & feel a complete failure as a mother . Today I travelled over 5 hrs (its only a 30 min train journey but lots of delays) to see them for 30 minutes.
Presents I have bought them have been bought by the new GF - they were his family’s tradition so I have lost that right.
I am just beside myself

AssassinatedBeauty Mon 11-Dec-17 21:35:42

I'm so sorry flowers. Can you talk to someone (a family member?) in rl about how you're feeling?

WonderWhippet Mon 11-Dec-17 21:37:45

Oh bless you. Please keep chatting on here, there will be fab people along who will offer advice.

Please block him on email, he sounds vile. Send a copy or print a copy off for the Police though.

If you can't chat on here, the Samaritans are always there to listen.
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CFSKate Mon 11-Dec-17 21:38:18

Please just keep going. Things can change.

GruffaloPants Mon 11-Dec-17 21:44:07

Please keep going. Your children love, need and want you, even if it doesn't always feel like that. If you kill yourself it will be a dark shadow over the rest of their lives. Don't let your ex win. Call the Samaritans, and later call womens aid for more practical support.

WatchingMammaMiaAgain72 Mon 11-Dec-17 21:58:39

Thank you for replies. I am currently having weekly sessions Talking Therapies.
I just keep thinking maybe I am going mad - did I imagine the abuse ? I have photographic evidence as well but he says I’ve posed the photos
Again thank you

christmasrage Mon 11-Dec-17 22:01:37

Try not to think about what he says. He is a liar, so you don't need to listen to his words. Let them wash over you leaving no sign that they have been there. He is empty meaningless noise and a waste of air. Like a dog barking at the sound of its own fart.

Blogwoman Mon 11-Dec-17 22:03:28

flowers for you OP. I have no experience of what you're going through, but please hang on in there and do call Samaritans, as has been suggested. My Nan used to say "nothing stays the same" and, simple as it is, I've found this is a good thing to remember when things are grim.

OddestSock Mon 11-Dec-17 22:05:32


cestlavielife Mon 11-Dec-17 22:10:42

Do you have a solicitor ?
Is the contact court ordered?
See a solicitor
Speak to your therapist
You know the truth
He isn't a goid father if he abuses the mother but so long as you ferl the dc are safe with him focus on getting a solicitor to fight your corner for contact

Hellywelly10 Mon 11-Dec-17 22:19:18

2nd seeing a solicitor x or call women's aid. Glad you're in threapy, it will get better x

Bumplovin Mon 11-Dec-17 22:26:56

I don't really know how to advise but I've read this and I just have to say please try to keep going talk to your therapist, the police, a solicitor, the Samaritans-they're there 24 hours I've rung them once or twice they do listen. Someone that could do this to you I'm sorry is definitely not a good father I hope you can stay strong because you're children deserve you in their life you're a good mother

Bumplovin Mon 11-Dec-17 22:28:04

Sorry I meant your

Livingthedream12345 Mon 11-Dec-17 22:31:20

Stay strong and keep talking to all the lovely people who help and support you.
Keep the faith.

toocool4cats Mon 11-Dec-17 22:54:36

So sorry you are going through this. Please keep a copy of the email making the Christmas Day threat, it is evidence of domestic abuse. He is committing a criminal offence by trying to bribe your silence. Please report it to the police and show him that he can't get away with bullying you any more. What a prize dick he is, find your strength and fight back with the help of the police, they must take this seriously.

moretea Mon 11-Dec-17 23:11:23

You've been so brave, please stay strong. Previous posters have given good advice flowers

AtrociousCircumstance Mon 11-Dec-17 23:17:29

Your ex sounds evil. You need to be strong now, for your kids and you.

You need to be a warrior. That means self-care, focusing on gathering strength: eat well, rest as much as you can, try to centre yourself.

Focus on the long game. Know that whatever happens you are their mother, you will never give up on them. And they will know that. Stick around and show them that. Wherever they live (for now - you will get them back) the most important thing is you will never give up on them.

And that means you can't give up on yourself, either.

Stick around, find your strength. You can do this flowers

nocoolnamesleft Tue 12-Dec-17 01:10:49

He is an evil manipulative abusive bastard. Your children want you. Your children love you. Your children need you. You managed to get out, which needed strength. As you rebuild your life away from this fucking bastard, you will start to find ways to spend more time with your children, and how to have them spend more time with you. There is hope. You need to survive until things improve. Hang on in there.

Chardonnaymoi Tue 12-Dec-17 01:48:29

You have a lot of support here. Stay with us. We can help.

Please let us know your current situation. Where are you staying, are you safe?

We can provide practical advice. We're here for you....

Broken11Girl Tue 12-Dec-17 02:35:03

I have nothing useful to say really, but I read your post and I'm sorry, offering a hand-hold. We're listening bear

Broken11Girl Tue 12-Dec-17 02:36:03

Aah didn't mean to post that - was intended to be flowers

YetAnotherHelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 12-Dec-17 10:27:32

Hi WatchingMammaMiaAgain72,

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources - here. You can also go to the Samaritans' website here, or email them on

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Sorry for hijacking your thread WatchingMamma , and we really hope things start to look up for you soon. Christmas is a tough time when you are in a tough situation, that's for sure.

dentalplanlisaneedsbraces Tue 12-Dec-17 10:40:01

Op are you able to contact Part Time Working Mummy on Facebook? I know you've left the situation but she may know who to put you in contact with for further help.

dentalplanlisaneedsbraces Tue 12-Dec-17 20:20:50

Op are you there?

AtrociousCircumstance Wed 13-Dec-17 14:54:15

Hope you’re ok OP.

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